365 Days Without You

Chapter Two (Days 6-10)

Day 6. The sun doesn't seem to shine as bright as it used to like the day when you asked permission to kiss me because you worried I would be offended not knowing that I was falling for you as you fell for me and we were sinking into an abyss of excitement that was doomed to an unavoidable failure that neither of us wanted to acknowledge. I stroll down the sidewalks we walked in thought that tomorrow will be a week without you.

Day 7. And I didn't think I could last a week without you but my heart is lighter and my thoughts are clearer and the stars are brighter and it feels like hope against the darkness of my soul. I told my mother what you did to me and she didn't tell my worrying father who still visits my room in the middle of the night to assure himself that I am still breathing and I squeeze my eyes shut and slow my breathing hoping he doesn't come near enough to notice the wet tears that stain my bed like fresh blood from a wound of unyielding pain.

Day 8. I don't allow myself to think of you anymore because it's set in stone that you are gone and never want to return to me and my best friend reminds me that I am not a toy that is here forever for you to use and dispose of at your hearts desire. So I deleted the texts and the pictures although I am still not strong enough to completely rid myself of you, so I hid the rest of the pictures in a folder on my computer hoping for the day that I can look back on them without shedding a tear because you were a big part of my life after all, you were my first kiss after all and I don't want to completely forget to learn from my mistakes. I trusted you too soon and I fell for you blindly but I won't ever love again.

Day 9. Today I couldn't breathe the new boy in class smelled like you and it was suffocating so I rushed outside and stood drowning in my tears and the rain and it almost felt like day one when you left me stranded on the porch without a proper goodbye saying you were leaving and needed to live your life and made it seem like I was always the one coming after you but oh, darling, you were the one who kissed me first. You knew I was naïve but I guess you were too so I won't say you took advantage of me because I don't have the heart to blame the end on you. You didn't try hard enough and I was tired of trying for someone who didn't seem to care.

Day 10. It's easier to forget you in the rush of my day but every so often when I fall into thought you creep in and it pains me but it's not as bad as it used to be. I can feel it in my bones how it is true when they say that life goes on.