The Beginning of It All- Edited

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I was laying on my bed, a face full of tears. My mascara was blobbed and running down my cheeks. How could he? My 2 year boyfriend had broken up with me, telling me "I can't do this, we're better off alone". I still couldn't manage to understand what I had done to make him end things with me.


I laid there, thinking over what had happened. I'd been laying here for 3 days. No one has come to check on me. No one came to comfort me. No one. My best friend, Lila, had tried messaging me a few times to hang out, but I had ignored the messages, I still hadn't told her what had happened. I just feel like I'm all alone in this big, horrible, heart-breaking world.


After roughly 70 hrs, I finally got the courage to get out of bed and go see Lila. She loves to party, which I knew about years ago. I came to her place, letting myself in, as I knew her house was always unlocked. "LILA!"

"JAZZ!" She screeched, running into the living room, tackling me with a bone crushing hug. "Where have you been? What's been going on? You doing okay?"

"I've been home. A lot of things have been going on. And I'm very far from okay." I explained, my voice cracking as I start to feel the tears swelling in my conjunctiva, my tear ducks starting to overflow.

"Honey, explain this to me as I make you a cup of tea with a couple shots of whiskey." She instructs me, walking into her kitchen. I explained to her what had happened to me in the past week or so.

After I went through the very emotional and slurred explanation of my breakup, we decided we were going to the club. I got in Lilas skimpy silver dress, and really cute pair of 7 inch fuck me pumps. I layered on my eye shadow, a gradient of white, to silver, to black, and eye liner, I was heavy with my bright red lipstick and we drove to the most popular club we knew, Run Wild.


As soon as we got there, I started chugging drinks, I knew I had the money to afford it. I didn't stop drinking until I was taking off my heels, because I couldn't walk. I grinded with strangers. Danced on tables. I wanted it all to stop. All the heart break, and the tears, to just fade away into the music. I kept throwing my arms up and dancing. Lila was amazed. She has never seen me like this, no one has. I kept dancing into the night. The loud music pounding my ear drums. Sweat racing down my face.


I felt alive, like never before. This dancing, and music, and drinking. I couldn't say it was me, but it made me feel like I was a new person. The night started to get blurry. But then, between all the other drunken strangers on the crowded dance floor, I saw her dancing. In a drunken, slurred conversation, we decided to leave this club and head to another place. I told Lila I was leaving. I'm sure she couldn't really hear nor understand me, but I didn't care, I was too occupied with the beautiful blonde at my hip. After a few more drinks, causing us to be more intoxicated than we already were, I found out her name is Brittany.


She gave me some powdered substances, showing me how to snort it, I'm sure it was cocaine, but I was too drunk to care, and we snorted it up our noses like pigs. We kept dancing, trying and failing at shaking our bodies to the beat of the music. Then the night changed. After the first kiss, though it was sloppy and very uncoordinated, I realized, I found the real me.

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