Besties [Olivia Rodrigo X Female reader]. Rewritten.

The calm before storm. Part 2

"What's wrong with me?" I turned to her and all the emotions I was holding back came rushing out, "What do you want from me, I'm your best friend after all!"

"What are you talking about Y/n?!"

"What you said during your thank you speech! I'm quoting you in case you haven't noticed!" Shouted I.

And a few seconds later Olivia realized what was going on.

"Is that why you're acting like that?"

"Yes Olivia! Because I'm not your fucking best friend I'm your girlfriend! And there's a difference between that!"

"I know! But do you expect me to just call you offstage as my girlfriend and everything will be okay?"

"Yes! I'm tired of us having to act like we're just friends in public! I'm not telling you to post pictures on Instagram saying 'I love you babe' but I want everyone to know who we are to each other! Is that a bad thing?"

"Y/n of course it's not bad but I'm not ready for that yet. I'm not ready to make our relationship public. I'm just not! And don't act like it's been decades, its been fucking three months!"

"I don't want to flaunt our relationship. But I want our relationship to be private,not secret! I'm tired of being your secret. You sometimes act like I'm your most embarrassing secret and you'd do anything to keep people from finding out about us!" I was already screaming at the top of my voice. The anger had blinded me and now I wasn't thinking about what I was doing.

"If you think it's so easy for me to do this, no! I thought you understood me!" Olivia had already begun to cry, a tear running down her cheek which she immediately wiped away.

"I'm tired of your indecision, Olivia. I'm tired of you!" I shouted, and then fell silent. It was as if all the energy had been drained from me.

Both of us were silent. I was the only one breathing heavily because I'd been screaming nonstop for the last ten minutes. I opened my mouth to say something, but ended up just making a couple of indecipherable hand movements and went upstairs to our bedroom. There I changed into my home clothes and fell on the bed.

At first I tried to lie in silence and just listen to music, but I wasn't getting any better. It only made me feel crappier.
I turned off the music and sat on the bed. Now I felt terribly guilty about the way I acted with Olivia. Because I had acted like shit all night, and how I hated myself for it now. The guilt was getting worse by the second, especially when I remembered her trying to put her arm around me, saying encouraging words. I ended up saying so many mean things in response to her kindness. God, why am I so pathetic? Why am I such a bitch?

Olivia was the last person who deserved to be treated that way. She'd always been my biggest support. In the darkest of times. And in return for her love and care, I did this. That was my gratitude. God, what have I done.

Without wasting a moment, I fled to the first floor. Olivia was curled up on the living room couch, sobbing.

When she heard my footsteps, she tried to be quiet, but she didn't do a good job.
I approached her slowly, and with each step I felt more and more disgusted with myself. I had seen her in different states, but this was one of the worst. And the fact that this time it was all my fault made it worse.

I gently touched her shoulder, but she pulled it away.

"Olivia..." I wheezed in a moment, "please say something."

She was silent. I gently pulled back from the couch so I could get close to her face.

"God forgive me that I..." My eyes filled with tears "how could I..."