I love you, hang ups and all.

💚 THIRTY-THREE 💚

>> GUNS POV >>

We were already back in Papi's apartment. I'm not sure what Papi told P'Pak that made him scared. That was something unheard off. It was the first time I saw P actually scared of someone when the other guy was just standing there.

New and Tay occupied their sofa. Yes, they've already claimed it as their own. I sat on the recliner while Papi sat on the chair beside me. They've allowed me and my emotions settle down when we got there. The four of us just sitting silently.

"Aere you feeling better now?" New finally asked.

"Yeah. I'm much better now." I said with a weak smile.

"I'm sorry I was eavesdropping at your conversation. I just wanted to be sure he wasn't cursing you or saying mean things to you." New said.

"I know." I nodded.

"Whatever I heard I won't make any judgements. Weather you want to walk about it or not is completely up to you." New said.

I could only nod. I wanted to tell New and Papi about things but I've never really had the courage to tell them. P'Tay already knew about it though since he was the one who helped me leaving that behind me.

"I've been meaning to tell you but I've never really had the courage to tell anyone." I started.

Papi held my hand, "Take your time. When you're ready, we're hear to listen. It's not necessary that you do this today."

"No, Papi. I want you to know because I don't want to keep it from you. I also want to truly leave everything behind."

He nodded as he understood what I meant.

I told them of my ugly past with P'Pak. It might've been love at first sight. It started dreamily but quickly turned into a nightmare. He made me his M to his saddist desires. While there were no penetration happening, I still felt used. I still told them of some of the worst things he made me do eventhough I was worried how Papi would look at me later.

AN: no I'm not lazy. I've had my thoughts on how it went but its not for those with a weak stomach.

When I told him to stop, he would end up beating me. It was on those times that P'Tay caught us. I was pretty beat up that time making P'Tay land several punches on him before taking me away.

I later learned that he was sleeping around making me all confused and depressed. It was just timing that P'Tay's family had a business deal here so he suggested that the two of us move to a new school. Por after talking with his college friends. Por was contented that apart from P'Tay, his friend's son could also help watch over me while he's out on his business trips.

After telling my story, I finally looked up to see how New and Papi would react. I actually wasn't able to see it as New already rushed to hug me.

"Oh Gun, you must've been through a lot. You're with us now so don't worry about that lousy jerk." New said.

We suddenly heard the doorbell ring.

"Who might that be?" New asked not releasing me from the hug.

"I wasn't sure if any of you had a decent dinner so I ordered us some food. I'll just get it." Papi said releasing my hand from his.

Somehow my hand felt empty yet heavy as it dropped on the side.

New kept on hugging and assuring me on the whatifs when Papi returned with a couple of large pizza boxes and a plastic bag, which I was guessing was chicken. He looked at us and raised an eyebrow.

"Really, you two have been at it. Can you stop now?" He demanded as he placed the food on the table.

"Hmph! I'm sure you're just jealous." New teased.