𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐔𝐒 | 𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎

𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔

ʚ𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐈'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕ɞ

For the first time in years, on this day, I'm not alone, and I don't feel like I'm drowning. I'm with her and I feel like I'm fucking floating. We've just been holding each other and talking for a while now, I'm not sure how long but I don't care. I don't want this moment to end. I've heard people say that they've felt moments where time stops, an unwavering point of perfection that makes them feel like nothing else matters.

I used to think that was bullshit.

Used to.

But right now, I feel it. It feels like nothing else matters, like no one else matters. It's just us in this moment, and I wish I could capture it in time and experience it over and over again.

"You know, I've never met someone else who actually likes the rain," her voice breaks me from my train of thought.

"Until me?"

"Until you," she agrees.

"I've never met anyone like you."

"That's a good thing I hope?" I just nod and she smiles softly.

"We're probably going to get sick if we stay out here," she says as she glances down at our soaked clothes.

Shit.

"You're right, I can't get sick." She looks up at me, eyebrows furrowed,

"A cold won't kill you Megumi?" I clear my throat,

"Yeah, I know but I just have a weak immune system that's all."

"I wonder why," she mutters under her breath, thinking I don't hear her. I sigh in response,

"Y/n, I would stop if I could, believe me I've tried." She pulls away from my arms and grabs my hand, offering me a sad smile, "I know."

Neither of us say anything for a few moments.

"Do you want to go see her?"

"Who?"

"Your mother."

"I haven't visited since-

"Since when?"

"Since she died." We didn't say anything after that. We just start walking.

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

As we approach, I almost feel bad for not feeling anything. She's under there alone, has been for a while and I never visited. I could never pluck up the courage to. I know the feeling of loneliness all too well, and death, that seems to me the common cause of it. I was lonely even when she was alive, but that only worsened once she was gone

I became an unwanted visitor in my own body, the feeling of wanting someone slowly disappearing as I accepted the fact that no one wanted me. I became okay with being alone. Until one day I wasn't alone anymore.

"Hi mom"

No response obviously.

Y/n places her hand on my shoulder, it's comforting knowing she's here with me.

"Uh I'm sorry I haven't visited, I've just been so busy you know," I glance over my shoulder and Y/n gives me an encouraging smile. "I met a girl. She the best mom, you would've loved her." I keep my eyes facing the gravestone, not daring to look at Y/n.

"She's beautiful, so beautiful mom and her eyes, they're like nothing I've ever seen before, I get lost in them every time I look at her" I get lost a lot.

"She's talented too. Makes the best coffees in town. I haven't tried anywhere else but I'm sure hers are the best" I continue to talk about her as if she's not behind me.

"She paints, she's really good too. I don't know much about painting but I hope she'll teach me one day." I could watch her paint for hours.

"She has a dog, she's really cute. Her names Max, she's pretty too, for a dog anyway. A little golden retriever with a blue collar, they didn't have pink apparently," I finish with a chuckle. I clear my throat,

"Best of all, she's nothing like you. She treats me well and she cares about me. She fucking cares about me mom, you hear that? Someone cares about me." My words become louder and my voice sounds strained. feel arms circle around my waist from behind.

"Why didn't you care about me?"

I break down onto the ground, collapsing into the safe pair of arms behind me as my cries fill the air.

"I've got you Megumi."

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

We're currently lying on her bed watching the end of the notebook, not my choice, but I'm glad she's treating me normally and not like a fragile doll.

"Do you seriously find this movie sad?" I question. All I get in response is a sniffle and I look down to see her wiping her eyes. "Um- are you okay," I ask, trying to hold back laughter. She grabs a pillow at throws it at me,

"Don't laugh at me," she responds while chuckling at herself. She pauses the tv and turns on her side to face me.

Fuck, she looks so beautiful.

She reaches her arm out and begins to trace the tattoos along my arms.

"You never did tell me what they mean," she mumbles absentmindedly while continuing her torturous trail over my skin.

"You wanna know?" Her eyes widen as she looks up at me and nods her head.

"How many are there?"

"27"

"Do they all have special meanings?"

"A few of them, others I just thought looked cool." She opens her mouth to say something but stops herself.

"Say it," I encourage.

"Can I see them all?" My body stiffens slightly at her question but after little thought and one look at the sincerity in her eyes I nod my head.

She holds on to the end of my shirt and looks up at me, silently asking for permission. I just nod again. Her hands are shaky as she lifts the shirt over my head. Her hands instinctively move to my chest and her fingers hover over my skin.

I didn't flinch.

She begins tracing over every tattoo on my chest, asking what each one means as she goes along. She stops when she reaches a quote written across the middle of my chest.

"My mother, she used to say this to me every time it rained. That's how I grew to love it," she tells me as her eyes gloss over with tears.

"My mother used to say it too," I whisper back. I place my hand on top of hers, still resting over the inked words as I say them out loud.

"No rain, no flowers."

雨