𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐔𝐒 | 𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎

𝐓𝐎 𝐘/𝐍

ʚ𝐘/𝐍'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕ɞ

My heart is beating so harshly I'm scared my chest might explode. I can't get my breathing under control, nor my shaking hands but the adrenaline fueling my body drowns out my nervousness with excitement. Each step I take I grow more reluctant to carry on, with hundreds of questions swarming in my mind.

What will he say?

What if he doesn't feel the same?

But I ignored my thoughts, for once my heart wins over my head and I find myself standing on Megumi's doorstep.

I knocked and I wait. No one answers.

I wait another minute, but no one comes so I pull on the door handle and

I'm surprised when I find it already unlocked. I make my way through the door and look around the dark corridors.

"Megumi?" "Megumi are you here? I need to talk to you." When I get no response, I made my way around the house, checking each room to see if he's here. I check almost every room with no luck until I reach his bedroom. I knock gently but, no surprise I get no response and walk in anyway.

Everything looks normal, nothing suspicious or out of the ordinary, except something perched on his pillow that catches my eye. I walk over and as I pick it up I'm immediately hit with deja vu from hours ago when I found my mothers diary.

It's a journal with: Property of Megumi Fushiguro, scribbled on the front.

Two journals in one day, I wasn't expecting that.

I know I shouldn't read it, I shouldn't be opening the first page and I most definitely should not be reading the first line. But I can't stop myself. I shouldn't be reading each page and becoming consumed by every word that's written. But I am.

The early pages feed me with further details of the life I already know. His childhood, and how it was stolen from him. How great his mother was until the moment she wasn't anymore. Descriptions of his torment laid bare in front of me in explicit detail.

I can't help but feel sick at the words I'm reading, the feeling only worsens when I realise it was all written by a child's hand. The next page details how he found the body of his mother outside in the rain, lifeless and cold. But he speaks of her before her passing as if she was already dead, like some kind of zombie.

The next 10 pages are full of grief. That's all. Grieving a mother that doesn't deserve it and the deep feelings of loneliness that occurred as a side effect of her departure.

The beginnings of his addiction are revealed as I turn the page. How he bought his first pack of cigarettes from someone in an alleyway at night when he was 15. And how he returned to them every night after that until he reached the age where he didn't have to supply his cravings in secret.

It wasn't until the age of 16 that he became reliant on cigarettes to get through the day, smoking multiple just to feel something, even if it was slowly ruining him. The way he spoke about life was as if he didn't care whether his ended or not.

But that all changes when he starts to write about a girl. And soon she becomes a reoccurring character in his story.Y/n.

He talks about me with such adoration, a more in depth delivery of his feelings than he ever spoke to me before. Each page becomes decorated in my name and my praise, like he worships each breath I take. The next pages are a combination of words written about me and something else. Something so unexpected I physically feel my heart drop as I read it.

I found this out a while ago, but I haven't had the courage to say the words out loud. I suppose I thought that if I ignored it that it would go away. But it's not going away, so I've decided to write these words rather than say them.

That way they will be here forever even when I am gone.

Here goes nothing...

I have lung cancer.

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

I run faster than I ever have before, bursting through the doors of the hospital, not bothering to hold back my sobs as I look around frantically.

"Megumi," I scream and everyone looks at me. Everyone but him. I shout again but he's still not here. "Megumi!"

A nurse runs over and looks at me like I'm crazy. I don't blame her but I couldn't care less what she thinks of me right now.

"Megumi," I repeat, my voice barely there as I choke back my sobs.

"Where is he? Where is Megumi?" She doesn't answer me so I shove past her, his name the only word I'm able to say right now.

I keep screaming it and I know everyone can hear me but it feels like no one is listening I make my way over to the reception desk and the man behind it also looks at me like I'm insane.

"Megumi Fushiguro, where is he?" I manage to force the words out of my mouth. The man immediately picks up the phone and calls someone. I don't register the words he's saying. All I can think about is Megumi.

Megumi.

Megumi.

Megumi.

He's going to be okay. He has to be.

He promised. He left once but he wouldn't do it again.

He wouldn't leave without saying goodbye.

I'm brought out of my thoughts by the sound of the phone being placed down. I look towards the man, barely seeing him through my tears as he points behind him and I see another man dressed in scrubs.

"Follow me." That's all he says and I comply, scurrying after him like a lost puppy. We walk down a long corridor and up a bunch of stairs before he stops in front of a room.

"This was his room."

Was.

He leads me into the room and it's empty.

I turn around to look at the doctor, confusion plastered all over my face.

"I'm so sorry."

No.

"He told us to give this note to 'his Y/n', I'm assuming that's you?" I just

He wouldn't do that to me.

"He told us to give this note to 'his Y/n!', I'm assuming that's you?" I just nod and he gives me a sad smile.

"I'm truly sorry. I'll give you some time," he leaves the room and I'm alone again. I feel a tear fall from my eyes and I follow it as it lands on the paper in my hands. I try to make out the words on the front of the paper as I wipe away my tears.

To my Y/n.

雨