𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅𝐈𝐒𝐇

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ʚ𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐈'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕ɞ

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ʚ𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐈'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕ɞ


She never brought up her parents again after that. She tossed and turned the whole night but when she woke up, I almost questioned whether I dreamt her crying in my arms, she went on with the day as if nothing happened.

So I did the same.

But I couldn't stop thinking about how much she's been through. With her parents and her friend JJ. How can someone experience so much loss and
still manage to be a good person despite it all? No one has a perfect life, that much is obvious. Some may portray a fallacy of perfection, but it's all a lie, a constructed, fake, misleading lie to make others feel shit about themselves.

But she doesn't try to be perfect or act as if she is, she's just herself, just Y/n. And just Y/n, is just perfect in my eyes.

I've never been the person who opens up or even just talks to people. I don't have friends because I know eventually everyone will leave, it's inevitable. But it's impossible to not talk to Y/n. As my eyes open in the morning she's the first thing on my mind, and as they close at night she's the only thing I dream about.

I write in my journal every day, but recently I've been struggling to find any words to say how I'm feeling. Writing used to be the sole outlet of expressing my emotions and dealing with my past. But now, I've voiced those feelings, to someone who truly cares about them and cares about me, so what need is there for paper when I have someone who's willing to listen?

I can't help but feel guilty when I think that she's told me all about her past and her life, and I can't bring myself to tell her everything about me. I'm selfish, that's my conclusion. A selfish asshole who doesn't deserve her but is too selfish to let her go. Just the thought of not having her around
sends a sharp pain to the centre of my chest.

She was right. When she told me that we can't rely on each other for our own happiness, it was already too late by that point but she was completely and utterly right. I shouldn't rely on her like I do, but once again. I'm selfish.

  
   ʚ𝐘/𝐍'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕ɞ

It's a Saturday. 3 weeks since I last went to visit my grandma. This time, Megumi is coming with me. He doesn't know it yet. But he's coming. I opened up to him last night. My whole past with my parents, the true story that I've never told anyone before. And I don't regret it at all. I feel proud of myself, for finding someone that I trust
and for being strong enough to actually trust them.

There's no doubt in my mind that I trust him. But there is doubt that he trusts me, fully anyways. He's opened up about his past, but I'm not convinced that I know everything. That's okay though, I'll wait until he's ready.

"Megumi?" I question as I walk into my room to see him lying on my bed. He grabs my arm and pulls me down to sit by him, "You okay?" I nod, "Yeah, yeah I'm okay. I just had a question." He motions for me to carry on. "I'm going to see my grandma again today."

"Oka-" I cut him off, "And I want you to come with me."

"You want me to-"

"To come with me."

"To meet your-"

"To meet my grandma, yes."

He looks like he's thinking about it for a moment before a huge, yet shy smile takes over his face and he whispers,

"You really want me to meet her?"

"She's the only family I have left Megumi, I want you to meet her before she goes too."

He jumps up and grabs my hand.

"Let's fucking go then."

"No way."

"Come on."

"Megumi, I'm not doing it."

"I'll help you I promise."

"No."

"Yes.

"No." He sighs, "I'll buy you a brownie."

"Fine."

"Great, now hop on."

I follow his instruction and sit on the bike.

"Good girl, now put your hands on the handle bars."

I must've frozen in that moment because he grabs my hands and pulls them onto the handles himself, leaving his hands resting on mine as he sits behind me on the bike.

"Okay, I'm gonna do the all work but you've got to watch and learn okay?" I just nod, knowing he won't be able to hear me through the helmet. He starts up the bike and I feel his grip on my hands tighten as we start to move. Who knew all it took was one guy to overcome my fears? If only I opened my eyes and sat on that fucking bench
sooner.

"Call her Tori, that's her name but-Megumi, she doesn't remember me anymore, she just thinks I'm a volunteer that visits sometimes

"N/n I-"

"Don't apologise, I know you were going to. It's okay, I'm just glad I still get to speak to her, even if it's not truly real."

He gives my hand a firm squeeze and kisses my cheek. We walk through the door and her eyes immediately meet mine.

"Hey, uh Tori, do you remember me?" She shakes her head slowly as her eyes flicker between me and Megumi.

"I'm Y/n, I'm a volunteer, remember last time you told me I had a pretty name?" She shakes her head again and I sigh.

"That's okay. I brought someone to meet you. Tori meet Megumi, Megumi meet Tori." he smiles at her gently and his whole face softens when she smiles back.

"It's lovely to meet you Tori." She just nods. We make idle chat for a while, mostly her telling me about bingo night and how her lunch is always too hot, but it was just nice hearing her voice.

"Excuse me I'm just going to the bathroom. Are you alright for a minute?" I expect Megumi to ask me to stay or give me a "what the fuck" look. But he doesn't.

"I think we'll be alright for a few minutes, don't you agree Tori?" I swear I felt my heart swell in that moment. I think my grandmas did too, judging by the blush on her cheeks.

What a flirt.

    

ʚ𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐈'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕ɞ

Y/n leaves the room and it's just me and Tori now. I look over at her and any previous amusement has drained from her face and been replaced by seriousness.

"Listen here boy, I may not remember, but I know a good heart when I see one and that girl is one of the purest people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. So if you hurt her, when I'm dead, I'll come back and haunt you. Got it?" I nod my head furiously and look her straight in the eyes.

"I would never hurt her. It would pain me to do so." She sends me an approving smile at the same time as Y/n walks back in.

"What did I miss?"



雨

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