Losing Hope *EDITING*

Chapter 21; Claire Curvel

I walked behind Glenn and Daryl quietly. The only sound coming from me was the sound of leaves crunching under my dirty boots and the ragged breathing from my parted lips. Glenn and Daryl kept shooting worried glances back at me and I continued to act like I didn't notice; but I did. My hand was holding on tightly to my bloody knife, blood dripping down from my elbows and below. I was coated in Randall's blood. My white shirt wasn't even white anymore and my pale skin was stiff from dried up blood. Blood that wasn't mine.

I frowned, catching Glenn and Daryl's look again. I didn't like it. They looked at me like they were scared of me. I was perfectly fine. Minus the break down I had earlier and the burst of rage when I stabbed Randall's dead body over and over again. He deserved it. He left me. Shane may have snapped his neck, but he should have never fell for Shane's shenanigans.

The house was beginning to come into view. I stopped in my tracks -eyeing Daryl and Glenn as they turned around to me. Glenn sighed, pulling his jacket sleeve down and coming towards me. I flinched away from him, shaking my head.

He sighed. "Claire at least let me wipe the blood of your face so you don't scare anyone," Glenn pleaded.

I shook my head, pushing past him. "Don't touch me, I don't care what anyone else thinks."

"Don't do that kid. Don't try to hold onto your anger," Daryl spoke up, making me glare up at his face.

I could hardly see him, but that didn't stop me from rolling my eyes. "I'm fine," I snapped.

I wrinkled my nose in distaste, stomping through the twigs and leaves as I came onto the farm grounds. You're not fine. Stop lying to yourself Claire. You're losing yourself. You're heading down the wrong road. I chuckled to myself, shaking my head. You're hopeless now Claire. You have no one left. No one that could ever understand how deathly afraid you are in this world. How little hope you have. How much you just want to end your life.

"Could use a shower about now," I joked lamely as Glenn and Daryl's walk caught up to mine and they walked beside me. I frowned, noticing the looks the shared between each other. I couldn't tell what the were thinking, but I could see the conflicting features on their faces. "I'm fine," I repeated with a firmer voice.

We stepped up the porch steps, me deciding to walk into the house last as Daryl opened the door and we stepped in. Everyone in the living room jumped to alert, their eyes scanning over Glenn and Daryl first before landing on me with a shocked expression. I tried to smile -knowing it came out more as I grimace so instead I settled for clenching my jaw in frustration. They didn't need to look at me like I was some monster.

"Rick and Shane ain't back?"Daryl asked.

"No."

"We heard a shot."

"Maybe they found Randall," Lori suggested.

A twisted smile formed on my face. Oh how she was wrong. We found Randall. I was thankful that nobody questioned all the blood on me though. I wasn't sure I could tell the story without breaking down.

Daryl shook his head a Lori. "We found him."

"Is he back in the shed?" Maggie asked.

"He's a walker," Daryl mentioned. I could feel his gaze on me, but I wasn't going to stare back. I didn't need to. I already knew what he was thinking.

I frowned, noticing the look that everyone in front of me seemed to give. That pity look. That look that said I'm sorry, but thank god it wasn't someone from my family. That look didn't make me feel sorry for myself and it damn sure didn't make me anything but angry when other people felt sorry for me.