Losing Hope *EDITING*

Chapter 28; Claire Curvel

I laid on the dirty ground, the sound of insects and birds filling my ears. I turned my head, looking at the mushrooms besides me.

My stomach growled at the sight --begging me to put something in my stomach. It's been weeks and we were constantly on the move with no food and barely enough water. Daryl could hardly find any game in the woods these days because walkers seemed to be scaring off any sign of food for survivors. They've even been scaring us off everywhere we go too. We never stayed in one place for more than a few days if we were lucky.

"Kid what the hell are 'ye doing?" Daryl questioned.

I chuckled, shrugging my shoulders. "You can go ahead, you said I was making too much noise anyway," I offered. "I'll just head back to the others in a few minutes."

I stared up, smiling softly at Daryl as he stood over me. "You don't even have a weapon Claire, come on get up."

"I have working legs and vocal cords to scream."

"Yes but you also haven't ate in days, you look like you'd collapse at any given moment," he countered back. "I ain't just gonna leave 'yer here in these woods. It ain't right."

"I know my way back," I insisted. "Just let me lay here."

Daryl scoffed. "Fine, but don't move, I'll come back to get ya."

"Okay." I closed my eyes, waiting patiently for him to walk away. I don't know why he's so worried, the others are holed up in the little cabin not even 20 minutes away from here. I opened my eyes back after a few minutes, smiling as I scanned around to see Daryl was gone.

Good. I can openly lose my mind without trying to hide it from the others around me. My mind is a war I'm not going to win and that's okay. My end is coming soon and I'll welcome it.

You're a fucking mental case Claire.

"And that's okay," I whispered.

'Claire,' my mother whispered softly.

I turned my head to the side, smiling brightly at my mother who laid besides the mushrooms next to me. "Hi mom."

'Claire you need to eat sweetheart.'

'She's trying to starve herself mom, can't you tell.' I turned my head to the other side, my smile falling off my face at Randall who laid besides me. He stared at me but his eyes were the deathly yellow white of a walkers. There wasn't a bite on him but there was blood around his mouth; fresh blood. 'I had to eat Claire, so should you'

"You killed a human being," I accused. "You didn't have to do that Randy."

'You left me to die in that shed. You let Shane take me away while you got cozy with those people you call your family now,' he snarled. 'It's your fault I'm like this.'
I shook my head, tears springing to my eyes as I looked over to my mother. My bottom lip trembled as she stared at me with disappointed eyes. 'You betrayed us Claire. You found a new family.'

"No," I cried out. A lie. Rick's group did feel like my family. What have I done? "I'm sorry," I wept. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I'm sorry."

'You betrayed us Claire!' They both exclaimed in my ears.

"No!" I screamed.

I covered my ears with my hands, squeezing my eyes shut as tears rolled down the sides of my face. "No, no, no. I'm sorry," I repeated over and over again. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to care for these people. I tried to save Randy, but they always stopped me. I didn't try hard enough. It's all my fault.