Losing Hope *EDITING*

Chapter 40; Claire Curvel

  "I'd really prefer that you stayed here with the others," Glenn begged. "Just this once."

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed my machete and pushed past him. "Like hell I'd sit back and not do anything."

"Claire please." I gasped as my arm was grabbed roughly, making me stop and throw a mean glare back at Glenn. The look in his eyes told me he wasn't going to back down, but neither was I. When have I ever backed down from helping out? Never and I sure as hell wasn't starting now. 

"Let go of my arm now."

I clenched my jaw, tugging my arm against his grip but he didn't let go. "Stay here. I have a bad feeling about this one," He tried to reason. "Please just listen to me."

I closed my eyes, getting annoyed by his pestering. "If something happens, something happens." I had to squeeze my hand around the machete I was holding to hold back from lashing out and saying something I definitely didn't mean. One day Glenn and I are good, the next day we're arguing over stupid things. "If you're so worried I'll be careful this time." 

The look on his face almost made me back down. Almost. I pulled my arm away from his hold before hurrying out of the cell that we were sharing. I don't get it. Any other time he wouldn't object so much to me helping clear areas out but now he was acting deathly worried. I know how to kill walkers and I know how to kill other humans if I have to. I've killed humans before, not that anyone knows still, but I could do it if it came down to that.

What is Glenn so worried about?

We risk our lives everyday. Today is no different. This is just how life is now.

I made my way quietly to where the others were getting ready. I reached out to grab a flashlight only to be stopped by Rick -a parental look on his face. Frowning, I let out an annoyed sigh. "How about you sit this one out Claire?"

I rolled my eyes, looking over my shoulder to see what Rick was staring at. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes again at the sight of the look Glenn was giving Rick.

"I'm going and that's final," I spat.

I grabbed one of the bullet proof vest, slipping it on and grabbing a flashlight off the table. I ignored any looks that I might have been getting; it's not like I wasn't used to them by now anyway. I'm not some crazy kid out here trying to get herself killed, not anymore. I can handle things like this. I know the dangers that lurk around in every corner, I know the secrets hidden in the dark, I know the risk I put on my life everyday I breath.

My eyes wandered towards Carl as Rick told him he had to stay, making me roll my eyes for the poor kid. I turned to look up at Lori who was just finishing a sigh in relief at Carl being told to stay. Doesn't she get it?  It's the worst feeling being told you couldn't do something because people feared you'd cause more damage than good; she should know the feeling more than the rest of us nowadays. 

"Let me at least help you if you're so hell bent on coming," Glenn said softly as he stepped in front of me. My eyebrows furrowed together as he tightened the straps around the sides of the bullet proof vest, pulling it so tight that I thought it would make it hard for me to move quickly. "You never know what we'll come face to face with here."

I nodded slowly, holding the flashlight I was hanging onto out to him. "I'll fix yours too then."

Glenn only gave me a small smile in thanks as he raised his arms up slightly. I could tell he was still annoyed that I wouldn't stay like he wanted to as I tightened the side straps of the vest around him. Just the vibe he was giving off almost made me want to cave in and stay just to ease his mood, but I want to help. I have to help. I don't want to just become some burden to this group again like before, I don't want them to always have to look out for me. I want them to know I can cover my own while also covering them too.