Dangerous Addiction

Calamity

One year passed in the blink of an eye. Not that I was complaining or anything.

Cya wait fi lef yasso.

After 365 days the soap never once fell from my hands. Some would say I'm paranoid.

But mi nah run nuh joke wid dem germsy gyal ya, next ting you know one a dem come try fool round mi.

I keenly scoped out everything and everyone as my days passed. The officers always stayed to themselves and denied any form of service to the inmates, but if you named the right price, it was a job well done.
There was also a female, one who most inmates and some staff feared. They call her the "Jail lord".

Fucking clown.

She tested every inmate in an attempt to find a weakness she could use to her advantage.

Never me doh, me know she wull medz.

The cooks gave her the best meals, where the meat wasn't molding and the rice wasn't crispy and on the weekend she and her minions would even receive cakes, snacks and other treats,which the entire prison envied her for.

It was very obvious that they were well taken care of, everybody else was either fair weight or skinny, them on the other hand....

Big like bull.

Though my stomach previously controlled me, I now had to control myself and didn't  make it much of a big deal. As the proverb said,

"yuh do the crime, yuh pay the time".

My cell mate was evidently a drug addict.
When I first arrived she spoke on and on about her past and her wishes and after a year, everything remained the same. I watched as she scratched her skin, not stopping until the reopened sores became raw, she also scratched her head,nodding repeatedly as she ranted.

Fucking mad gyal.

I sometimes felt sorry for her, other times, I felt like I would just kill her and accept the  twenty five to life.

Me ears cya eat grass.

Juss a yap a go on suh.

Bomboclaat man.

A year ago I was never this observant, but in order to adjust to my new life, I had to be aware of my surroundings and keep my guard up. I passed through the halls everyday just smiling with my teeth and not with my heart as hails sprang from different inmates' mouths.

Me nuh wah nuh hail from nuh gyal. All dem do a smile up inna ppl face and fuck dem man inna the long run.

Over the years, I had received  my share of abusive friendships, with people I trusted with my deepest secrets. From basic to primary to high school and even as an adult, I just never seemed to learn my lesson.

Nah lie mi did kinda write off mi self from friends till Tessi.

The age old feeling of my stomach dropping as I tried to ignore them as if they were just another stranger carrying out there daily routine, blaming myself for fucking up yet another friendship when in reality I was not in the wrong, for choosing my own peace and sanity.

Mi nuh like dat.

So there is no way I'll be in this place full of cockroaches and call one my friend.

Dem mad?

Me hate di wull a dem in yah.

Surprisingly, I held my composure and kept myself away from fights or anything that could make my case take a U-turn because my need for freedom overpowered every ounce of anger that ticked the wrong part of my brain.