My dark skin glistened under the dim alley light. The eerie howls and ruffles sent shivers down my spine. From a distance, I could vaguely see men smoking on the curb, not the type of men who, me, a female would be relaxed around, those were the type your parents would warn you to stay away from. I hid behind the dilapidated structure of a house, confused about my whereabouts and where all my clothes had went.
Loud footsteps from behind sent me running to the nearest area of safety i could find, inside the house. I wrapped my trembling fingers around the knob and slowly turned it, trying not to make any excessive noise when suddenly I was pulled back by my hair.
"Ayye likkle whoring gyal." The man said
I looked up at him, his tall broad figure was distinct but his face was unnoticeable. I squinted in an effort to make out a facial feature that could help me in a later case if I was not killed. The cold machine he retrieved from his waistband was slapped across my face and an unfamiliar metallic taste formed in my mouth.
I spat, not being able to form complete words. The awful ringing in my ear and the pulsating pain in my head indicated to me that I had been thrown on the ground. A skin seering liquid was thrown at me and it felt like the room jumped one hundred degrees higher on the thermometer.
But I sat there, confused.
Why me?
I didn't dare to fight back, because in a world where you constantly throw knives, what is it if a knife is thrown at you?
" To live, to fight, to peace, to light." The last words he militantly stated before everything went black.
Like my lungs had been empty for I woke up taking in deep breaths of air, feeling the fresh breeze from the air conditioner beat against my sweat drenched clothes.
When dis ago stop?
Mi a nuh big oman how mi fi a have nightmare still?
I checked the clock.
3:13am
I sighed, knowing that my busy day was already off to a rough start. My parole was almost up and I was about to be completely free from prison life, but the non stop reminders of my deranged mentality still haunted me. In an attempt to not wake my father I went down the stairs and to the freezer.
The heat from my hands made lines in the frost on each item I ran my hand over, stopping on the frozen dairy treat, ice cream.
I picked up the half eaten tub of vanilla flavored ice cream, sat down in the couch and started on Netflix.
"Jazariah?" A familiar voice called out.
"Daddy, work nuh start yet, mi soon come" I said sleepily.
"Have you been out here all night?" He questioned again.
Weh him a tlk bout?
I opened my eyes and scanned my surroundings.
To rawtid
"Cat Noir, he's been akumatized." A voice from my phone said.
I looked down and realized the cartoon I had put on was still playing.
"Wah time now?" I questioned still confused.
"5:25, is that my ice cream?" He asked observing the semi solid substance in my hand.
I sheepishly smiled, sitting upright.
"Mi ago get ready fi work." I said handing him the tub.
"Jazariah, I am very concerned about you. Are you okay?" He asked, seeming to actually care.
"Ye man dadz mi gov, mi couldn't sleep wid all di loud snoring you put down last night." I said slightly laughing.
" Alright ma'am, you say your 'gov', but you sure that you aren't going to miss living with me." He said playfully mocking me.
My father and I's relationship was not fully there but I can admit that I can see growth. After almost a year of living together he is more understanding about the things I do and the way I act, but I do think me getting a job played a big role in his development.
"Not at all." I said laughing
The warm water falling from the shower head burned my skin, the way I liked it. I don't know how people showered in cold water, if it wasn't borderline boiling, it just wasn't for me.
I had monthly checks with my therapist and weekly calls, especially since I had been diagnosed with IED, Intermittent Explosive Disorder.
It mek mi sound like mad oman
But according to him, I don't have a very severe case so my monthly evaluations and sessions are enough to help me.
After getting dressed I called a taxi and headed to work.
"Mi hear seh she kill four people eno"
"You too lie gyal, mi hear seh she theif wah car."
"Di wull a uno a eediat, you tink dem woulda hire ex convict?"
"Ee"
"Exactly"
I had been working at this office for a bit over a month and nothing had changed since my first appearance, but I had learnt not to make them bother me, mostly.
Mi just nuh wah guh back ina di pen.
My job wasn't a fancy job, I definitely wasn't making a fancy salary but money was the least of my problems. I just needed to work so it looked good on the papers. My days were spent mostly collating documents and organizing files then I'd go home, sleep and repeat the cycle unless, I had a session, like today.
The boring seven hours passed and I walked out of the establishment praying that I'd never have to go back.
I always do.
"Miss Tindale, Nice to see you today, How's everything? " Mr Spencer , my therapist asked.
"Well you know life a gwaan wid itself, di nightmare dem come back and mi just wah dead, the usual." I said and shrugged.
He tried to maintain his composure but through keen observation I saw the twitch at the corner of his lips.
His very nice, plump lips.
If a neva one ting mi just mek him bend mi ova right yaso.
I cleared my throat as he started his tests, mostly including talking exercises and after two hours I was sent home.
The loud bass and explicit lyrics of the dancehall song in my ears sent my eyes rolling back as I walked in the busy streets . Music was my escape, although the type of music I listened to didn't depict the world I wanted to live in, but it detached me from my own thoughts, almost like I was watching a movie.
Where man head a buss out and bare blood a splatter everywhere.
"Miss, Miss." A soft voice called taking me out of my trance. I turned around and was met with a little girl.
"Hello." I answered stopping to her level.
She handed me a crumbled up hundred dollar bill.
"You drop dis." She said still eyeing the money.
"Oh thanks, hear wah, if you mommy allow you, tek it and buy some sweetie" I said smiling.
Her eyes lit up and her smile stretched from ear to ear revealing her missing front teeth.
"THANK YOU MISS, GOD BLESS!!" She shouted and ran off.
Cute.
Kids. I hated them, didn't want any of my own, but it was pleasing to see how most of them lived life without having much care. I envy how temporarily pure they are until their minds are corrupted by the works of this wicked society. In addition, some of them are cute.
But jah know, mi cya tek di bawling.
I lowered the volume of the song playing in my ears upon entrance of my father's community, reality finally hit me as I saw him packing the last of my suitcases into his car. It was time to leave.
"Ready?" He whispered.
YOU ARE READING
Dangerous Addiction
RomanceI have had my fair share of love, not the type you see in cartoons and movies instead being used, abused and manipulated just because I stood up for my basic human rights. How one could loose every bit of sense they had when infatuated with an indi...