The Ideas of Love

Chapter 12.

The next morning, Jeff woke up alone in bed. He and Tyler had some intimate time last night. But it scares Jeff, because it feels like he did it with a stranger. Besides, Tyler has always been open to Jeff that he would only do polyamorous relationships. Jeff can't stop feeling insecure that Tyler will leave him for another woman or man. He buried his face in the pillow. He didn't want to do anything that day. He wants the time to stop at last night, at the time when Tyler made him feel really good for once. But Jeff's phone rang; it was Cheryl, so he had to take it. Cheryl had been good to him while he took his time away from work, but he knew that Cheryl was swamped with work now. She kind of told Jeff that if he didn't start soon, he would probably get fired. Cheryl didn't know that Jeff couldn't recognize people now, and Jeff didn't plan to tell his boss that he was disabled now. Being gay already put him at a disadvantage, and now his brain can't even function properly.
Not long after the ringing stopped, Tyler came into the bedroom and gave his phone to Jeff. Jeff saw the name, and it's Cheryl. He muted the call and told Jeff that he was going to get fired anyway. Tyler said that it's fine and that he should be able to take care of Jeff for the rest of his life anyway. Jeff didn't like that Tyler felt guilty about the kidnapping. He was a little angry with Tyler, but he knew that it was not Tyler's fault. But, on the other hand, he likes the idea of being Tyler's full-time stay-at-home husband. Tyler grabbed his phone back and said to Cheryl that Jeff wanted to quit his job. Jeff heard that Cheryl was yelling at Tyler for saying that, but Tyler decided to take the call outside, so Jeff didn't really know what happened next.
Tyler came back a few minutes later with a smile and breakfast on his hand. He put the breakfast on the end table and kissed Jeff's lips. Jeff twitched a little.
"I'm sorry.." Tyler apologized, but he kept forgetting that Jeff couldn't recognize him.
"I started to be able to tell that it's you. It just makes me jumpy sometimes when you do intimate things. It's my fault. You don't need to apologize." Jeff leaned in and kissed Tyler's lips. "I love you.."
"So... um... Cheryl was upset with me, but she told me you were fired anyway. And because you don't have any income now, I want you to stay with me. Or I can pay your bills. I prefer to have you next to me, but I know you hate me.." Tyler sighed.
"I just told you that I love you." Jeff pulled Tyler closer. "Let's go out tonight and have a real date. I want to be your boyfriend.." Jeff realized that he was jumping into this too fast. "I mean.."
Tyler smiled. "I will be the happiest man if you want to be my boyfriend." He kissed Jeff gently. "And I want to make love to you at some point. But I want you to be comfortable with it."
"It's you. Of course, I'm comfortable with it. You have been my best friend for decades." Jeff smiled and rubbed Tyler's cheeks.
"Okay, it's a date then. But for now, you need to eat and I need to work." Tyler stood up and kissed Jeff's forehead.
Jeff hates that he didn't bring most of his clothes because now he doesn't really have anything to wear to a date with Tyler. But the smell of the toast and the omelette made him really hungry, so he ate his breakfast instead of overthinking the date with Tyler.
When Jeff checked on his phone, Cheryl sent an email about the termination of his employment. Suddenly, it became so real that he depended on Tyler from now on. It's not that he doesn't like it; he loves it. The thought of Tyler doing something rough on him, with his consent, of course, turns him on. Tyler told Jeff that he'd done some rough sex on some of his ex-girlfriends, but he always recorded the girl's consent on his phone before they did anything out of the ordinary. He's just so anal when it comes to consent, but Jeff knew that it was all because Tyler's job needed him to be anal about it.
Suddenly, Jeff's phone buzzes while he has his dirty fantasy about Tyler. It's Cheryl again. He hesitates to pick it up, but realistically, Cheryl is his friend too. He should have explained to her why he couldn't work anymore. So he finally picked it up.
"Wow, so now you pick up the call.." She said this in an angry tone.
"I'm sick, Cheryl. I'm sorry.. I just can't work anymore.. I cry so often lately, and I feel shitty all the time. So I'm sorry that I just don't want to talk to my boss about it. But I'll talk to my friend about it.." Jeff tried to keep himself together.
"I'm sorry.. I should not do that to you.." She changed her tones. She knew that Jeff had been through a lot.
"I'm a disabled man now, and I don't want to tell you that when you are still my boss. I'm sorry. I know you probably feel like I betrayed you, but I am not the man you knew." Jeff felt like a ton of weight was lifted. He doesn't like lying to Cheryl, but he doesn't want to be unprofessional either.
"Can I see you tonight? As a friend.." Cheryl sighed. She knew that she had to fix this. She had no clue what Jeff had been through because he had been so secretive about his condition after the kidnapping.
"No.. I have something to do tonight. Maybe tomorrow? I'll have to check with my boyfriend.." Jeff gasps. 
He slipped that boyfriend word way too fast for Cheryl. Cheryl likes Jeff's friendship with Tyler, but she always says to Jeff that he should never date Tyler, because it would ruin that friendship. And Cheryl said that he and Tyler would never last. Jeff knew that she might be right, but he couldn't ever stop loving Tyler, no matter how many people said that he was stupid for doing that.
"So you're dating Tyler now. Is that why you quit? Because he said so?" Cheryl is back to anger now. 
"Cheryl! That was not his decision. I'm disabled now, I told you!" For once, Jeff gave her a strict tone. "Look, I know you hate me because I quit my job, but I need time to recover and you didn't give me one. I'm sorry.."
"Why you keep saying that you were a disabled man now?" Cheryl got suspicious.
"My brain doesn't work properly. I can't remember people's faces. Are you satisfied now?" Jeff shook his head. He doesn't want to break it up with Cheryl with a phone call, but she would find out anyway.
"That doesn't mean you can't work! It's absurd that you quit over that!" Cheryl protested.
"Whatever you want to say, I don't care. I need time, and you won't give it to me. I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'll text you when I'm ready." Finally, Jeff hung up the call. He almost wanted to throw the phone across the room, but he knew it didn't matter. Cheryl's the owner of the company, and he's just an employee at the end of the day.
Jeff decided to change his clothes and go to the apartment's common areas. Tyler looked so concerned when he said he was going down a few floors. Jeff still felt angry from his call with Cheryl, so he just ignored Tyler and just walked out. He went to the indoor pool area and sat on one of the chaise lounge chairs and just played a game on his phone. He doesn't want to talk to anyone right now.
Suddenly, a half-naked man sat next to him. The pool was empty; he could have sat anywhere, but not besides Jeff. The man was only in his Speedo, and he winked at Jeff before jumping into the pool. Jeff was really not in the mood for anyone flirting with him, so he stood up. But the man called him.
"Jeff! It's me.. Tyler.." The man shouted at Jeff as he walked away.
When Jeff stared at the man again, he now knew that it was Tyler. How could he miss that? Well, his brain fucked up. It just confirmed it again. He turned back and squatted on the pool edge. "I'm sorry, my brain.."
"Shh.. It's okay.. Jump in.." Tyler asked politely. He skipped a meeting with Clara for this, because Jeff is the most important thing to him now.
"I don't wear a Speedo.." Jeff bites his lower lips. He should have worn it. But his brain is a mess.
"Um.." Tyler gave the key to his locker. "I brought a spare one. Just get changed and meet me back here, okay?" Tyler smiled. Jeff nodded, and then he disappeared into the locker room.
Tyler felt guilty that he couldn't be with Jeff all the time. He pleaded to Julia and Emily that he needed to resign and just focus on Jeff. But of course, those two would not let him. He then pleaded for Julia to take over as managing partner. Julia agreed to let him do it temporarily, but he has to go back to be the managing partner within the next few months. Julia said she wants to start planning her retirement now.
Finally, Jeff popped out of the locker room with Tyler's Speedo. He looked great in it. Tyler wants to make love to the sexy man who stood there. He knew Jeff always mocked himself as unattractive, but that was not true. Sure, Tyler is much more attractive than Jeff, but Jeff is still very attractive. His body is toned enough and his glasses hide his blue eyes, which look so pretty. Slowly, Jeff dipped into the pool and stood next to Tyler. Tyler pressed him to the edge of the pool and kissed him.
"Jeff, you are so sexy. I want to make love to you so badly. I love you so much.." Tyler kissed Jeff's lips again. He felt that Jeff tried to push him away. "What happened? Did I do something wrong?" Tyler moved away.
"No.. You are fine. I just.." Jeff hesitates. "I'm not comfortable being intimate in public like this."
"Oh.." Tyler knew that Jeff did not like him sexually. Tyler never really feels uncomfortable having intimate moments in public. But he should have remembered that Jeff is not all these girls that throw themselves at Tyler. "You want to go back to the apartment?"
"No.. can we swim?"
"Yeah sure.." Tyler kissed Jeff's cheek.
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