The Ideas of Love

Chapter 24.

There's an awkwardness between them the next morning. They are hung over, but they still remember how they could finally have a deep conversation last night. Tyler doesn't really know what to do with Rene's confession; he likes the idea that Rene and he could make a family. But forcing Rene to turn back to being a woman had never crossed his mind. He knew Rene wanted to have kids, but he never knew that Rene had thought about it for a year. And knowing how miserable Rene was all these years from rejection just crushed Tyler's heart. He should have noticed it years ago.
"Rene..." Tyler rubbed himself on Rene's back. "Would it be okay if I asked you to date me?" He wrapped his arms around Rene.
"Oh.." Rene didn't really know what to say. He felt like he had been waiting for this question for years, and he couldn't answer it now. Mostly because he just doesn't want to force Tyler into a relationship with him out of pity.
"I'm not doing this because I feel bad, but I really like you. And you were right; if I want to have a child with someone, it should be with you. So, can I please try it with you?" He slowly kissed Rene's shoulder. His hand rubbed on Rene's belly.
Rene turned his body around and faced Tyler. "But I don't want to have a baby right away. I need to be sure you really want me."
"I know what you want, sweetheart." Tyler kissed Rene's lips gently. Tyler felt like his dick reacted to Rene's crotch rubbing on it. "Can we.." Tyler hesitated. He should have taken Rene on a date first. "Let's go somewhere today, if you don't mind."
"You don't need to take me on a date to have sex with me. I would consent to it." Rene chuckled.
"No, you are a respectable man, and I will treat you like one." He fixed Rene's hair and rubbed his cheeks.
"Fine, let's go somewhere. Do you want to go back to your place first?" Rene asked.
"You go and change; we'll go to my place together, and then we have lunch. I might book a nice hotel for us tonight." Tyler smiled. He doesn't know exactly why, but he felt that his heart was fluttering a little.
Rene smiled, then got out of bed. Tyler stared at his naked body. Rene felt a little insecure, like anytime he did it in front of other men for the first time. Tyler noticed that, so he got out of bed too. He hugged Rene and told him that Rene was perfect. Being a transgender male is easy most of the time for Rene, except when it comes to sex. So many times, all these men he dated were okay with it for a short while, then they felt that they were not pansexual and eventually broke it off with Rene. Rene knew that this would be Tyler's first relationship with a transgender person. Rene doesn't want to keep his hope up, but he really can't deny that he loves Tyler. And the thought of having sex with Tyler scares him, yet it also excites him. Rene told Tyler to stay out, and he walked inside his walk-in closet. Rene still has beautiful dresses that he sometimes wears just to feel beautiful. He sometimes felt like he's gender fluid instead of transgender, but he tried to go back to being a woman a couple of times, and he didn't feel like himself. He still loves to wear beautiful dresses when he's alone.
Rene put on a baby doll pink dress he liked the most, then went out to show Tyler. But as soon as he saw Rene, Tyler looked more angry than happy.
"What is this?" Tyler shook his head. "I can't do this. I don't want you to be a woman again! What the hell are you thinking?" He stared at Rene.
"I just want to dress up for you." Rene felt his tears flood out.
"Rene, you are an amazing man, and you don't need to change that. So could you please stop trying to be someone you are not?" Tyler sighed.
"What if this is who I am? I just like to wear a dress sometimes." Rene shook his head, then wiped his tears.
Tyler felt horrible and walked towards Rene. He hugged Rene. "I'm sorry. You are beautiful in your dress. Please wear whatever you are comfortable with. Okay?" Tyler rubbed Rene's cheek.
Rene smiled and kissed Tyler's lips. "I love you." He whispered as their lips parted.
"Okay, my place, then something fancy." Tyler is not yet ready to say it back to Rene. He loves Rene as a friend, but nothing more for now, and it's not fair to say it just because Rene said it.
Rene nodded and wrapped his arms around Tyler's hips. He felt so happy. Unfortunately, his happiness didn't last long. When they arrived at Tyler's apartment, Chris was there too. He looked angry when he saw Rene with Tyler.
"Chris.." Tyler felt horrible bringing Rene now. He couldn't stay single and wait for Chris to get back to him.
"What the hell, Rene?!" Chris clenched his jaws.
"We didn't do anything yet. Tyler is just about to take me out on our first date. " Rene tried to protect Tyler.
"That's not why I am mad! I left Tyler; he can date whomever he wants. But why are you dressing like that?" Chris tried to be calm, but he just couldn't do that.
"Why are you here?" Tyler cut the conversation short.
"I'm just.." Chris felt surprised by that question.
"I think you should go. I know you have moved on, and I'm just trying to find my own happiness. Please, it's the least you can give to  me." Tyler sighed.
"I have not moved on yet. My brother was in town, and I am busy with him. But you would not care even if I told you." Chris grunted.
"Oh.." Tyler felt so stupid that he assumed Chris had just walked away from him.
"It doesn't matter. If you want to date Rene, at least you should have the decency to let him be who he is, not whatever this is." Chris gestured to Rene.
Tyler knew that Chris was right, and he felt so horrible. He hurts Chris and Rene, his best friends. "I'm sorry, Chris." He sat on the couch and covered his face. He wished he could snap his fingers and fix this. Why has he always done this to the people he loves?
"I didn't do this because Tyler told me to do it. I just like wearing a  dress. Rene finally answered.
"I'm done with you, Tyler. I thought you were a good man. Chris threw the spare keys on the coffee table.
"Chris.." Tyler stood up and hugged Chris from behind. "Please don't leave me."
"You have Jill and Rene. You don't need me  anymore. He knew he promised Tyler that he would never leave him, and yet he kept leaving him.
"What can I do to fix our relationship? I'll do anything." Tyler buried his face on Chris' shoulder.
"Nothing. Just get back to your date and leave me alone." Chris sighed as he pushed Tyler away.
"No." Tyler grabbed him tightly.
"I'm just going to go." Rene stood up. He knew that Tyler would choose Chris. Anyone would choose Chris over him, obviously.
Tyler looked at Rene for a few minutes. "I'm sorry, Rene. I am in love with  Chris. He hates breaking Rene's heart, but he knows that his heart belongs to Chris.
"Just cut your bullshit!" Chris finally succeeded in shoveling Tyler away. "Jeff told me you begged him to get back with you after one night that I was not around. And now you are going out with Rene. You are just a playboy!"
Tyler finally gave up. "Fine, you can both go. I will just stay here. I'm sorry I hurt both of your feelings." Tyler turned around and locked himself in the bedroom.
"Come on.." Chris dragged Rene.
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Of course, Chris's solution to getting over the fact that his boss is breaking his heart is to sleep with his other boss. He wrapped his arms around Rene, and while he had his regrets, the sex was amazing. He knew Tyler would be so upset if he found out about this. Chris knew deep inside that Tyler truly loved him. He walked out of the relationship first, and he threw a tantrum when he found out that Tyler was just trying to mend his broken heart. He knew Tyler deserved more than a man child like him, but Jeff isn't yet ready to let go of Joe.
"Chris.." Rene looks glowing after his multiple orgasms. He never thought he would fall in love with Chris this fast, but the sex was amazing.
"I'm sorry, Rene." Chris sighed. He felt so horrible using Rene like this.
"Why are you saying sorry?" He tilted his head and kissed Chris' lips. "You are amazing."
Chris loses words. Hearing that, he would hurt Rene's feelings if he told him that this was just some rebound sex for him.
"I know this is nothing for you, but it was great sex, and we are both consenting adults. If you want to part ways after this, I don't mind." He laid his head on Chris' chest.
"I'm staying. I am an asshole, but not that huge of an asshole, you know." Chris chuckled and hugged Rene tighter.
"Hmm? Really?" Rene chuckled.
"Can I interest you in a romantic dinner? Just me and  you. Chris kissed Rene's forehead. "The least I can do after being an asshole..." He rubbed Rene's naked back.
"Did you even enjoy it?" Rene stared at Chris. He knew Chris was the pure gay type, so he should be feeling the same as most gay guys he slept with; they aren't really interested in being with a trans man.
"Shockingly, I did enjoy it. I just should not have sex with you just because I need rebound sex from Tyler. I wish that we did this under better circumstances." Chris sighed again.
"You are attracted to me?" Rene asked.
"Yes, why would you think differently?" He didn't know why Rene even asked that.
Rene buried his face in Chris' chest again. "Most gay men think I'm not manly enough for them." He sniffles.
"Rene, you know that's not true. Please don't say  that."Chris never knew that Rene struggled to find a man who understood him.
"That's the truth." Rene whispered.
Chris sighed. He wished that he wasn't still in love with Tyler. He wants to just hug Rene all day and night. He knew Rene was a strong man, but being transgender is not easy. "I'm sorry for what you have gone through. I'm taking you out on a date. Okay?"
"Pity date?" Rene giggled.
"No.. but.." Chris sighed again. "I'm not ready to move on from Tyler, but I want to take care of you too." He pulled Rene closer and squeezed him tightly.
"I know. We can go on a date, but I'll pay. I'm still your boss after all; it's my job to take care of  you."Rene smiled.
"Can I ask you not to wear a dress? I am not against you wearing anything, but I'm just not used to seeing you like that. Maybe we could adjust slowly, and I'll get used to it." Chris bites his lower lips.
"Sure.." Rene pushed Chris' body and climbed on top of him. "But, can we do it once again before we go?" He smirked.
Chris chuckled. "If I could..."
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"Jeff?" Jill stood at the door without moving an inch to see Jeff suddenly appear there. She could have sworn that Tyler told her that Jeff would not be there until next week.
"I need to talk to Tyler." Jeff had a million things on his mind.
"Oh.. He locked himself in the bedroom all day. I'll check. Come in.." She can finally move again and move over a few inches to let Jeff in. Jeff almost barged into Tyler's bedroom, but he stopped and knocked on the door. Tyler looked awful as he opened the door. Jeff shoved him back inside and grabbed his best friend. He cried so hard and lost all ability to explain to Tyler.
Jeff got a call a few hours ago that Joe got fatally wounded, and he is in a coma now. Of course they let Bill know too, so he already sent a helicopter and a medical plane to pick up his son from Texas. Myla was the one that called Jeff; she got shot too, but her wound was not as bad as Joe's. Jeff already tried to see Joe, but Bill blocked him from seeing Joe. So all he can do now is just cry in Tyler's arms. He was finally able to explain to Tyler what happened after crying for a good half an hour.
Tyler put Jeff in bed and told him to get some rest while he handled this. He had to call Chris. Chris told him one time that Bill liked him when he dated Joe briefly. Chris will be on his way in to let Jeff see Joe. Chris sounded happy considering what just happened, but he shoved his heart away. Of course, that changed when he told Chris about Joe. Chris didn't really talk much and just hung up after he heard Joe was in a coma, then heard the details on where he was now. Tyler had a feeling that Chris still had a feeling for Joe. But at least he is a better man than Tyler, who kept trying to ruin Jeff's and Joe's relationship.
Tyler gave up and just laid next to Jeff, who is still crying. He told Jeff that he would get this sorted out in the morning. He spent an hour comforting Jeff, and they both fell asleep on Tyler's bed again. Tyler missed this, and he suddenly felt that maybe Jeff would change his mind and choose him this time.
As Tyler woke up the next morning, Chris had not given him any news, so he had to call Chris. He got annoyed when Chris told him that Bill blamed Jeff for what happened to Joe, and Bill would put on a restraining order so Jeff would never be able to see Joe again. Tyler should feel happy that he finally has his chance again. But he dislikes the fact that Bill is just being an asshole to Jeff. On the other hand, he knew that there'd be no chance for Jeff to see Joe ever again if he didn't come out of the coma.
So Tyler sneaked out and went to the hospital alone. He saw Myla there with Chris. Myla should still be on bed rest, but she felt guilty. She's the one who dragged Joe into this whole mess even after he resigned. Myla jolted a little when she saw Tyler. It was a bittersweet feeling to see Tyler since they have a love-hate relationship between them. Or maybe it's just her hormones. There's one time that she and Joe had to have sex, of course, without protection, with Lewis watching them. It happened a couple weeks ago, and the hospital just told Myla that she's pregnant. She managed to keep it together in front of Bill and Chris, but somehow she fell apart when she saw Tyler. She stood up and hugged Tyler, then continued crying on his shoulder. Tyler instinctively hugged her tight.
Bill emerged from the ICU room and saw the whole thing. He wished that Joe would date a man like Tyler or Chris, not a loser like Jeff. He had a hard time accepting Joe's sexuality back when he first came out, and he still struggles to approve his relationship nowadays. He blamed Jeff for this incident. Bill knew it was not fair for him to do so because Myla explained everything to him, and Joe's decision to go undercover again had nothing to do with Jeff.
Tyler tapped Myla's shoulder to let her know he needed to talk to Bill for a moment. Myla reluctantly released him. Tyler introduces himself to Bill and takes him to the hospital cafeteria. He knew Bill had been there for Joe all this time, so some breakfast might soften his attitude towards Jeff. Tyler knew that Bill wants the best for Joe, and Jeff is not the best for his child. Tyler felt the same too, for different reasons, but he owes it to Jeff to at least try.
They sat on one of the corners once they both had their breakfast. They started the conversation with a light topic, and Bill was interested in getting Tyler's firm to represent Freetech. Tyler felt like he landed on a gold mine and got dragged into pitching his firm rather than pleading for Jeff. They talked for half an hour, and he managed to land Freetech as his client now. Then, as Bill was about to go back to Joe, he realized that he still needed to talk about Jeff, so he begged Bill to listen to him for ten more minutes. Bill sat back down; he knew what Tyler would ask, and he would say no. But he will entertain the idea, because talking to Tyler is better than sitting in despair, looking at his sweet boy in a coma and hooked on all these machines.
"I know you don't like Jeff, and I am in love with Jeff, so we both will be very happy if Joe and Jeff break up. But.." Tyler paused for a moment. "Jeff loves Joe so much. He was so upset when Joe decided to do the undercover work again. He told him not to go. Please don't punish Jeff for this. I said this with respect for you and Joe."
Bill shook his head. "Did you know Joe adjusted his life insurance and will before he went undercover?" This is what upset Bill the most. He doesn't want to give Jeff his money.
"I have no idea, but Jeff would return the money to you in a heartbeat if that's what you want. I have known Jeff for a long time, and I regret that I lied about my sexuality all these years. I love Jeff with all my heart, so even if it's painful for me to plead with you to let Jeff be with Joe, I am doing it for the man that I love." Tyler sighed.
"If you love him, then keep him away from Joe." Bill stood up and walked away.