The Ideas of Love

Chapter 14.

"Good morning.." Tyler hugged Jeff tight. They decided to have sex for the first time in a long time. Tyler is madly in love with Jeff now. He has never felt better. Jeff, on the other hand, felt like he couldn't do this anymore. Because all he thought of last night was Logan. He is out of his mind, he knows. So he kind of pushed Tyler away after he said the sweetest good morning. The sex was as perfect as it could be, but Jeff just couldn't stop the what if questions on his mind about Logan. He never really thought that Logan was interested in him. Logan would be perfect for him, not this super human called Tyler. Jeff knew that Tyler was way out of his league and he should be thankful that Tyler finally wanted him. But realistically, Tyler would never, in a million years, settle for him. Logan, on the other hand, is right in his league and Logan has been nothing but sweet with him the past few years. While Tyler has fun with his ladies in the city, Logan protects him from anyone that would hurt him.
"Jeff.. are you mad at me?" Tyler realized that Jeff hadn't responded to him. "Did I hurt you last night? Did I do something wrong last night?"
"I don't think I can be with you.. I'm sorry.." Jeff sighed.
"You don't like our sex? I can fix that. What do you want me to do? Do you want to be the top? Please tell me what's wrong. I promise I will fix it.." Tyler pulled Jeff towards him. 
He didn't get it. Why did Jeff get so angry with him? Jeff shook his head and grabbed his clothes. Tyler was laying in bed with a shock on his face. Tyler pleaded more, but Jeff just walked away. Tyler really doesn't understand what went wrong. He thought that everything was fine.
Logan was preparing breakfast for everyone when Jeff arrived. Logan stated that he went grocery shopping with Joe again this morning. Jeff was taken aback by Logan's rapport with Joe, despite the fact that he knew Logan was a cop. Jeff took Logan to the woods after he finished making breakfast. Jeff doesn't want to deal with the shambles he made with Tyler this morning. Tyler was still in the RV, and hopefully he stayed there all day so Jeff could clean up his mess.
"Why are we here?" Logan asked.
"I broke up with Tyler. I can't be with him.." Jeff sighed.
"Did he hurt you? Because if he does, I will hurt him!" Logan stood up, but Jeff pulled his wrist.
"No.. I'm the one that messed it up." Jeff sighed again. "I thought about you all night, even when I made love with Tyler. The sex was amazing, but I realized that he was too perfect for me. I want you, not him.."
"I'm curious about bisexuality. I have not decided on it yet. You can't just burn your future with Tyler because I felt curious. Please don't do that, Jeff." Logan shook his head.
"What future? He's a ten and I'm barely a five! He is perfect, and I'm a loser! I can't think about the future because he would never stay with me!" Jeff yelled, but he could feel his tears running down his cheeks.
"Jeff, he loves you and you love him. Just don't be stupid and run away from every great relationship like you usually do. You just have that thing where you break it off when everything seems too right for you.." Logan pulled Jeff back to the RV. "Talk to him and he will tell you what you need to do. Breaking up from the man you dreamt of all these years is not acceptable without a good reason. Okay?" He pushed his boss inside the RV.
Tyler was still naked in the bed when Jeff was pushed inside the RV. Jeff could see that Tyler had been crying. He walked closer to Tyler and sat next to him. Jeff tried to gather his words, but he just sat there.
"What do I need to do to fix this? I'll do anything for you." Tyler held Jeff's hand.
"Tyler, let's talk facts now. You are handsome and successful. I have no job and have social anxiety, plus I can't even recognize people easily now. You can't be with me." Jeff sighed.
"Why not? I owe you my life more than once. And you are an amazing man. I want you for the rest of my life. Do you want me to get married to you right now? Because I would do it. I don't care what I need to give up, as long as I can be with you, then I am happy." Tyler pulled Jeff and hugged him.
"I'm sorry, Tyler. I can't be your boyfriend.." Jeff pushed away again.
"Fine.. you can break up with me, but I'm not giving up on us. I will fix this, and we will be happy together. Please give me a chance?" Tyler said with a sad tone.
"That will be the best, a break up. But I can't give you a chance. I gave you so many chances before and you rejected me every single time. And now I understand why you rejected me. So, I will be your friend, but I can't ever be your boyfriend again." Jeff smiled bitterly.
"Can you leave me alone then? I need a time. I know this is all my fault. And I would never stop loving you, even as your friend.." Tyler covered his face.
"I'm sorry.." Jeff rubbed Tyler's shoulder and walked away.
Tyler decided to pack his bags and leave the rest of the guys. He's going back to New York. If Teddy Lewis killed him, then so be it. He doesn't have anything worthwhile to live for anymore anyway.
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