BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2013

Chapter 9- Talking Back

Author's Note at the End :)

July 16th, 2013:

We had finished shooting the lottery segment and were driven back to HQ to continue practicing the dance to NO. The jacket shoot was on Saturday, and we still had to perfect the choreography overall. But while all the boys went to the dance studio, I walked up to Sejin's office with Yoona. All the boys look at me sad knowing I was probably going to get a tough-talking to.

Yoona and I wait outside the door to his office since Sejin was still parking the cars and probably giving out orders to the other managers. He finally comes and opens his office door gesturing for us to go in.

He closes the door behind him and walks to sit in his chair behind his desk. Yoona goes to sit on a chair against the wall also behind his desk. I stand in front of his desk, looking down, ready for my talking to.

"Y/N," he says taking a deep sigh, "what's gotten into you?" he asks. I'm a little surprised. I thought he would stand up and yell and point his finger at me, not calmly ask what's gotten into me.

"I'm sorry, I will work harder to better my appearance on variety shows," I reply, thinking that was what he wanted to hear.

"That's not what I asked Y/N. You were a model trainee. You worked tirelessly, you listened and never spoke back, you understood what was expected of you. And now you've debuted you keep speaking back and not telling us important things," he says looking at me seriously. I kept looking down throughout his explanation.

"I'm sorry. I suppose I have been too relaxed. I will ensure to reflect on my actions and become better," I reply, once again trying to say something that will hopefully not get me in more trouble.

"Y/N, seriously! I want to know what is going on inside your head, these rehearsed polite answers aren't what I want. I know it must be hard for you to be away from your parents... or parent... and living away from the group with trainees. There has to be a reason for your new attitude, and I want to know why to maybe help fix it," he says a little exasperated.

I was a little shocked, to be honest. I didn't think he would actually want to know about my feelings and thoughts. I never really interacted with him outside of the typical manager drives and meetings. Yoona was the one I grew closer to as she was here for me.

"Uh, you want to know why my attitude has changed from when I was a trainee?" I ask to clarify what he was asking me.

"Yes." He replies curtly.

"Um, I'm not sure I can give you a sufficient answer. I think I am still learning how to be a performer Y/N and real-life Y/N..." I say quietly, so many things running through my head since I had never really thought about why I might have changed, "I think I am still transitioning into becoming an idol and it is taking a little more time for me".

"This is why I wanted you to have a stage, it would have helped give a clear divide. You have to get used to not playing with the boys as you do off-camera when you are on camera. I've already had two arguments with the producer because of you. I understand you just view the boys as friends, but we really can't have any scandals or even rumours between you and any of the boys. If we do, it could result in the end of BTS and lots of money and talent wasted. If you do it again, this talk won't be as friendly. You understand?" Sejin says.