BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2013

Chapter 26- Uneasy

Author's Note at the End :)

October 22nd, 2013:

I had finally gone to school yesterday and today and I was way behind on my classes. Not only that, but the whispering that followed me everywhere only increased. I would hear sentences like "don't let your boyfriend get too close to her", or "apparently she's failing her classes and now she's failing at being an idol... so what's her purpose?", or "did you hear what she yelled? She's a feminist for sure". The last one took me a bit to realise they weren't saying it in a positive way. People seemed to think feminists were bad, like witches needing to be burned at the stake.

Overall, school really sucked and whatever chance I was given to leave, I took it. During breaks, I would leave and walk around the neighbourhood, go to the corner store, or the roof if it was deserted. Sometimes Jiyoung came with me, but she had her own group of friends and work to do, and I didn't want to bother her too much.

I had also started getting fan mail. It was still a measly amount, but I was so happy to read messages from even just 2 or 3 fans. That was until someone started sending death threats disguised as fan mail. The managers started opening my letters before giving them to me and apparently, in today's letter, the person writing them had written in blood. It was disgusting. I joked with the boys that frankly, if someone was taking the time to find blood, or worst of all to cut themselves, to write me a letter, all I could be was flattered. But inside, I was dead scarred. I tried to be strong and put on a confident façade, but especially after seeing how people weren't afraid to touch and harass me in public at the petition signing booth, I was worried this person would start looking for me in person.

I really couldn't catch a break could I... the thing that allows me to be more myself in front of fans, also results in me getting death threats. I just couldn't win.

The bell announcing the end of the day sounded and I was out of my classroom in a flash. All I wanted was to be as far away from the gossip and with people that actually knew and cared about me like the boys or the Eunbis.

"Hey, Y/N! I want a word," shouts my homeroom teacher before I can go down the stairs to the exit.

I huff and walk back to my classroom which was slowly emptying. Someone bumps into my shoulder, and I just roll my eyes. I was used to it, and they would have to do much more to really get under my skin, like send death threats I chuckled cynically.

"Y/N. I know you have a busy schedule as an idol, but you have to be on top of your work. You're not the only idol in this school, yet you're the only one that can't seem to meet the schedule we've made for you," says my homeroom teacher seriously.

"I'm sorry. I'm trying, I really am," I reply looking down at my shoes.

I really was. I would work on the bus, in the car to performances, and in my bed before going to sleep. But there was just so much work it was crazy. Plus, school in South Korea was all about memorisation and repetition which was something I didn't grow up within school in Montréal and so it made the transition even harder for me.

"I'm sure you are, but it's obviously not enough and teachers are getting fed up with waiting and constantly having to be on top of you. I'm going to have to contact your manager so we can make a new schedule, a more stringent one, so you can stay here and actually graduate with us," they say.