BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2013

Chapter 29- Ashamed

*Potentially triggering chapter -> sexual assault

November 4th, 2013:

Sejin was the one to tell the boys about the dead bird and note. He had met Yoona and me at the entrance and made sure I was ok when we arrived at HQ. Since Yoona and I had been late, the boys were all already gathered in the studio when I got there.

They did not take it well. As predicted, Jungkook got very upset angrily spitting out swear words and explaining what he would do to the man once the police found him. The rest remained calm overall, but were obviously worried for my safety as well as how this would affect my mental health.

That same day, Sejin had gone to the police station to add the message to the file. I then got reprimanded by the police for disposing of the bird. Did they really expect me to leave it in front of my dorm door for all the other girls to find? I think they were just upset they had to go fish for it in the garbage bins.

I had gone with Sejin to the station so they could ask me questions if I had noticed anyone following me or acting weird around me to maybe pin point where and what the person lived and looked like. I felt bad I couldn't be of help. I could only tell them of the man I saw in the dark the night Seokjin walked me home and the description of the man that handed me the letter.

The police had also asked if I was willing to meet the man at the tower to draw him out and police would arrest him as soon as they saw him, but Sejin had put his foot down and said there was no chance that would happen. Not only was it just far too risky letting me wait alone in such a crowded area, but my parents weren't here and Sejin was my guardian in Korea, and he would not have it. Furthermore, if something were to happen to me, the Canadian embassy would have to get involved and so it would make things very complicated for the police, or so Sejin said.

Since then, the boys and the managers have been following me so much, I feel like I need to report them for stalking. Taehyung and Jimin were going to follow me to the women's washroom, which I drew the line at. Instead, they stood in front of the door, scarring away any girl that wanted to use it. They checked every room before I went in and always shot looks at the door ensuring no one unwanted walked in.

I kept thinking that if he wanted to hurt me, someone he obviously revered, he probably wouldn't flinch at harming one of the boys, so by letting them be my bodyguards I was letting them possibly get hurt and add to the potential body count. However, I knew the boys would continue to do it no matter what and me bringing it up would probably just scare them more than necessary.

I was now on the bus next to Seokjin going to school. He looked very nervous, even more than me, and would constantly move and look around. It was strange how calmly I was taking this. I was the one receiving the death threats and hate, yet I think my mental state had hit such a low, it could only go up at this point and I had changed the narrative of the death threats into one where someone was actually noticing me, and for good or bad, I was glad it proved I hadn't completely faded away.

An old man got on the bus, and I look around to see all the seats taken, so I stand to offer him my seat which he politely takes. Seokjin quickly gets up and apologises to the man for having to practically go over him to reach me.

"Y/N! You have to tell me when you do stuff like this," he whispers angrily.

"Oppa. I was still right next to you, what is being seated or standing change?" I answer.

"Well, what if he," he says in barely a whisper, "is the psycho? You never know with these old people".