BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2013

Chapter 25- Apology

October 18th, 2013:

I wanted to write my apology letter alone, similarly to how I was during the incident, but Jungkook insisted on staying with me which resulted in all the boys staying. However, this also meant that most of the time I was writing it they were goofing around or scrolling through their phones.

"Guys! I'm trying to focus, please," I say huffing for the umpteenth time after Taehyung and Jimin kept giggling and shoving each other while watching something loudly on their phones.

"Sorry," they both reply again for the umpteenth time.

"What do you have so far?" Namjoon asks.

"Urgh, I don't know... I don't want to make it too like 'polite' that people think I didn't write it, but I also don't want to be so casual that people think I don't care," I say sighing and putting my pencil down.

"Ok, well let's see what you've written down," says Seokjin, "hey! Shut up!" he shouts to Jimin and Tae.

"Oh, are you reading it?" Jimin asks, "ok, let's hear it!".

Everyone puts their attention on me, and I suddenly feel very nervous. I knew they would never judge me or react negatively, but being the center of attention for writing an apology letter is not something people are naturally comfortable with.

"Ok then, here it goes... Dear ARMY, I am disappointed in myself for having to write this to you as I never thought I would hurt you to the point of having to formally apologise, but here I am. I want to formally, and with the utmost genuineness, apologise for my actions in the mall in Busan after the fan meeting. I spoke harmful words, and regardless of whether I thought ARMY would hear or not, it was inexcusable of me to voice them. I don't want to make excuses, but instead, just let you all know what I was feeling at the time. I was tired from all the travel and performances and as a result, was not thinking properly and focusing on negativity too much. Again, these are not excuses, and I apologise fully and take full responsibility for my hurtful words. I have since been reflecting a lot and I will continue to work on myself to better the group and make ARMY proud. I hope you can forgive me and continue on supporting BTS. I love you all... Lee Y/N"

I finish reading and look up to look at the boys.

"Wow... I think it's really good. It's short, but truthful and impactful," comments Hoseok.

"I like it, it's well written," says Yoongi, "and you've managed to write it well without acknowledging the actual bullshit that some ARMY said, but it's to the point and classy. Good job," he finishes, giving me a thumbs up.

"I'm glad you guys like it," I say a little unsure, "I was worried it was too vague, but that's mostly because I'm not too sure what I'm apologising for," I chuckle.

"I know right. What the media heard was you talking about being fed up with being the perfect girl and not yelling at ARMY, but somehow it still turned out that way... and it's not like you can throw the management under the bus for pushing the perfect little girl narrative which was what you were actually mad at..." Taehyung thinks out loud.