My eternal love

-Kiss but don't tell

Emily's POV

„You need to get out of bed" Alison said and put her palm over my hand. I was laying and hugging my knees, I was staring in the air the whole morning. Eating? Don't feel like it. I don't feel anything other than sadness. I can't believe I let Hanna go that easily and I can't believe Hanna gave up on us.

Us.

„I don't want to" I said and sat up.

„Yes you do" She said and gave me a grin. A couple days have now gone by without seeing Hanna and instead of me feeling better, It only hurts more.

I decided the last days to totally suppress my feelings. But the emptiness and regrets and feelings of missing my Hanna are always coming back.

I feel so lonely.

Alison slept yesterday here, my mom saw how sad I was and allowed Alison to stay. That was a miracle really. She never lets anyone stay over. But Alison was allowed and that made me happy. But at the same time I felt very bad too, I know that she might still have feelings for me and here I am cuddling her all night.

It's not like I don't love Ali back. I do. Very much.

But....Hanna.

It's still so hard to comprehend, I feel like Hanna did me wrong. I did mistakes, she did mistakes. At the end of the day I wouldn't want to give up on us. I would do anything to see Hanna right now. To touch her, to hear her, to taste her lips, I can't stop longing for her. I just can't help it, it is really annoying me, It makes me wanna call her so I could just hear her voice.

I'm not gonna do that again. It was cruel enough when she didn't said anything when I cried the last time when I called her. I felt so stupid.

I wonder if she's feeling like this too or if she's not going through it like me. Maybe she is happier without me. I was giving her a hard time every time that Lexi topic came up, I was stressing her out. I was a total bitch to her wasn't I?

And I didn't forget the time when she said she felt pressured when she took back the proposal, maybe our whole relationship got too serious for her. Maybe I was too much. And on top of that I started not trusting her anymore.

The more I think the more my heart breaks.

„I pull that hand and you the other one" Spencer said and grabbed my hand. Alison pulled my other hand. I stood up and sighed loudly. „I don't want to..."

„You have swim practice, remember?" Spencer cut me off.

Swim practice.

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Spencer's POV

„I am fine yeah" Hanna said and took the package from my hands. She asked me to lend her some party decorations, her mom is coming back home after months and she wanted to throw her mom a welcome home party.

„That's good to hear" I said and walked in with her, I walked to the kitchen and saw a lot of Chinese food packages. Hanna started eating and offered me another box of Chinese food.

After a couple seconds I said yes and sat down in front of her. We were silently eating, Lexi and Kate walked in the house a couple seconds later which made Hanna look away.