depressive tendencies <3

45.

i'd love to be able to trick myself into unloving you.

unfortunately, that's impossible.

everything  has turned into you.

for no reason, i love you.

you treat me horribly.

unbearably badly.

and expect everything to be fine because thats how i am

but i don't want to be like that

you don't deserve someone's forgiveness,

let alone mine.

people work so hard for that, but you think you'll just get whatever you want.

but the worst part is that you aren't wrong.

you've never been wrong.

i try to move on,

distract myself with other guys,

but it's never going to work.

do you really think that you're a burden to me?

because you're the opposite.

you hurt me and deteriorate my emotions,

but you changed me.

for the better.

you helped me become who i am.

you're my best friend and i hate that.

but i'm not sure that i would change anything that's happened.

quite simply put, we're incompatible.

completely and undeniably so.

however, i can't unlove you.

so please just stay in my life.

you haven't left yet.

everyone else has weaved in and out of my life these past few months, but you've been there through it all.

listened to me complain about dumb things and really important things.

and i trust you.

i want us to be friends,

i really do.

but i need time to stop loving you before it could work  like that.