depressive tendencies <3

46.

i think i finally did it.

i think i moved on.

i think that this time was the last time for me.

i'm over you.

and all this time, i've been wishing i could've just moved on

but now that i've gotten there,

it just really fucking sucks.

i miss being with you,

going out together

driving each others cars

laughing about nothing

giving you useless statistics just to make you upset.

but now that it's all gone, i know i'll be happier.

i know that it'll get better eventually.

but for now,

i'm just in a middle hazy zone.

i wonder how it'll be when we start school again.

you'll be graduating this year.

that's gonna hurt.

i know i could never not love you.

but maybe now i'll just keep my distance.

not involve myself with your games and lies.

how could i ever truly move on from you, though?

yeah, you fucking hurt me so many times, but you were the first person who reminded me of him.

the only person who's taken me back to when i was happy and wasn't worried about what other people thought of me.

the only thought in my mind right now is not going back to how we used to be.

it's a mystery as to whether or not i'll be able to stay away from you, 

but maybe this time i can.

maybe you hurt me for the last time.