Sink

chapter eight

(A/N: dedicated to Tyler_Johnston bc wow you're amazing ilysm thanks for reading ( ˘ ³˘)❤︎

Falling.

Samandriel was falling.

Not falling in love - he was already in love. Instead, he was falling in a rapid decline that looked down no matter what angle you looked from. Love is what caused it.

It had been a month since Samandriel had seen Adam. They had video chatted, of course, but it was different. They were different.

Samandriel had gone to the bridge many times since Adam left. He's also considered going to a convenience store and buying a lighter.

What was stopping him?

Adam?

Sure, the boy was thousands of miles away, but scars don't go away completely in two months. Adam would notice. He would get upset.

Samandriel sighed and ran his fingers through his hair as he closed his book, unable to pay attention. Too much was happening right now.

His phone rang and he looked down at it, rolling his eyes as he saw who was calling. He answered it.

"Hello?" he asked tiredly.

"Hey, can you help me?" Caleb's voice sounded from the other side.

"Sure. What is it?"

"Do you like Italian food or Chinese food more?"

"Why?"

"Answer my question."

"Answer mine."

"Fine. I want to take you somewhere," Caleb insisted.

"Has it ever crossed your mind that maybe I'm not interested?"

"Many times. But still, I'm determined to win your heart. I know I can. So Italian or Chinese?"

"Italian."

"Great. I'll pick you up at five."

"Knock yourself out." No, please, knock yourself out.

The call ended and Samandriel groaned, slamming his head against the desk in his and Adam's room. Caleb wouldn't stop, no matter how he tried to get him away.

He went to his closet and grabbed a normal shirt and some jeans, before changing out of his sweatpants. He looked at the time. It was already five.

Thanks for giving me time to get ready, Samandriel thought, glaring at the mirror.

A car honked and Samandriel rolled his eyes.

Not even the decency to come to my door and knock.

He walked out of his apartment and to Caleb's car, hopping in regretfully. Caleb smiled at him.

"Hey."

"Hi," Samandriel answered tightly.
Caleb started the car as well as a sorry conversation.

"How are you?"

"Engaged."

"How are you feeling?"

"Annoyed."

"Do you like me?"

"Never even in your wildest dreams."

Caleb smirked and nodded.

"Not yet. But you will."

---

They drove up to the restaraunt and Caleb made a big show of running to the other side of the car to help Samandriel out of the car.

"I'm perfectly capable of doing that myself," Samandriel mumbled. Caleb just smiled and walked into the restaraunt. A girl came up to them, and Samandriel instantly recognized her. "Meg!" Samandriel exclaimed, greatful for a distraction. She smiled up at him.

"Hiya, Sammie," she said and turned to Caleb. "Who's this?"

"I'm his date," Caleb grinned, stepping up to wrap his arm around Samandriel's waist.

"His date?" Meg asked, raising a dark eyebrow. "You do know he's engaged-"

"It's a work in progress."

"Right," Meg murmured, leading them to a booth. "Here you go. I'll be back to get your orders soon."

---

Samandriel and Caleb were standing outside. It was very cold, and Samandriel was shivering.

"Here," Caleb said, shedding his jacket and putting it over Samandriel's shoulders.

"No, I-" Samandriel protested, but Caleb cut him off.

"Seriously. You're freezing."

Samandriel sighed and let the jacket warm him up. A few moments later, Caleb piped up.

"Hey, Sammie?" Caleb asked and Samandriel looked over at him. Caleb stepped forward, grabbing Samandriel's chin lightly. "Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?"

Samandriel didn't respond, just stared blankly into Caleb's eyes. Caleb leaned in, his lips shadowing over Samandriel's. Oddly enough, Samandriel didn't pull away. Caleb leaned in and their lips touched.

It was short, very short and Caleb pulled away, not letting his lips ghost upon Samandriel's too long. Caleb sighed, leaning his forehead against Samandriel's.

"I'm glad you let me do that," Caleb whispered.

Samandriel's eyes widened as he realized what he had done.

He had let Caleb kiss him.

Oh God...but Adam.

Samandriel pulled away, shrugging Caleb's jacket off of his shoulders. He threw the jacket at the taller boy and tried to hide his eyes that were filling up with tears.

"Take me home," he demanded.

"Sammie-"

"Take. Me. Home."

Caleb nodded sadly and unlocked his car, letting Samandriel in, before starting it and driving to Samandriel and Adam's apartment. They both sat in silence; Samandriel trying not to sob and Caleb sneaking glances at him each time he got.

Finally, Caleb pulled into the apartment parking lot and sighed.

"I'm sorry," Caleb apologized. Samandriel tried to be mad at him, but he couldn't, because it was Samandriel's fault for not pulling away in time.

Samandriel didn't say anything as he sat there for a second, contemplating what to do.

"I shouldn't have made my move in the first place. You're engaged, I shouldn't have pushed it..." Caleb said, trying to lighten the mood. "I'm sorry."

"I shouldn't have let you do it," Samandriel whispered, staring out of the window at the dark street.

"I shouldn't have-"

"This is my fault," Samandriel murmured, his voice distraught. "Actually, can you take me to the gas station? I need to get something."

---

Samandriel sighed, sitting on the bathroom floor, the lighter in his hands. It's been so long...maybe he shouldn't. No doubt Adam would see - and then what? He'd be so disappointed...

But he had to. He was aching to. But Adam...

No, Samandriel deserved this. It was his punishment for cheating on Adam. And if Adam left him because of this - well, that was Samandriel's fault. He shouldn't have let this happen.

He flicked the lighter on and watched the flame dance. It flickered around and Samandriel sighed, bringing it to his skin.

Punishment.