Everything Is Just Fine

Chapter 11

We arrive back at Westbrook on Sunday, right before Madison has to leave for the airport, so she and Toby are running out the door as I arrive at the room.

She seems nice enough, but it's hard to tell since she's in a hurry. Toby claps me on the shoulder as he passes me. There's a hickey on his neck, and his smile is full blast and full of joy.

"I wanna hear all about your weekend when I get back."

I set my backpack on my stained school-issued desk chair, and sit on my bed. I don't know what to do. Usually, after spending a significant amount of time with people, I feel this need to take a nap, but right now I need to move, my leg is bouncing with this energy that is begging for me to go, go, go.

Huffing, I stand and turn on my laptop, and find the playlist of club and EDM music. Ben had made the list when we were still dating. I can't think about him. I can't think about anything. I just want to move.

I start jumping to the beat, throwing my hands and head around like I don't have a care in the world, but in reality, I have so many things to care about in this world that I've stopped keeping track. But the dancing is helping. The steady thump-thump drowns out everything I have had to worry about since April.

I keep expecting Toby to come back to find me jumping around the room, but hours pass and he has yet to return. Eventually, I get sick of dancing and switch from Steve Aoki to Bon Iver.

I change into pajamas even though it's only eight, crawl into bed, and fall asleep not even ten minutes later.

When I wake up again, my laptop is closed and Toby is snoring away in his bed, and for some reason, I'm disappointed that I have to wait until the morning to talk to him.

★ ★ ★ ★

The week passes in a bit of a blur. I feel like I woke up Monday, blinked, and then it was Friday again. I have to finish my paper for History, but Shelby and Toby talk me into going to the Poisonous Winter apartment for dinner.

Toby's bouncing up and down on his knees on my bed, chanting, "Let's go! Let's go!" over and over again.

Surprisingly, Shelby is quietly sitting on Toby's bed and killing zombies in Call of Duty. Every time she dies, she huffs and asks, "Are you ready yet?"

"No."

I have resorted to blaring a classical playlist to drown out the two gnats while I finish my paper.

Two hours later, I send my paper off and turn towards them. Toby's sitting on the floor with a Dr. Pepper can balancing on his bony knee, and he's showing Shelby how to get past a difficult level on Evil Within.

"I'm ready."

They both shush me.

"You guys were bugging me and now you're telling me to shut up? Really?"

I stand and stretch, grab Toby's copy of The Shining and begin reading where I had left off. It's one of Toby's favorite books, and he was appalled that I had never read it before. His head nearly spun when I told him I had never read anything in the horror genre.

Finally, after twenty minutes, Toby takes the book from my hand. His big, goofy smile is firmly in place.

"Ready?"

"Have been."

"Well, what are you waiting for then?"

I roll my eyes at him, while Shelby giggles at us.

The evening air is crisp when we head outside. Leaves are starting to turn brown and fall off the trees. Toby zips up his jacket to his chin and pulls his bucket hat over his ears, complaining about how it never gets this cold in Texas.