Everything Is Just Fine

Chapter 13

Amy hangs on my arm as we walk out to the duck pond. She's dressed in a beautiful maroon skirt and a velvet green shirt. Her chunky boots have gold stars printed on them, and she keeps gushing about how cute they are.

The day is cloudy, and I think the gray backdrop is going to make her stand out more in the pictures I'm taking of her for my photography class. We stop at the edge of the pond, and I drop my beat-up camera bag. Amy feeds the ducks as she waits for me to get my camera set up.

"Tell me about the guy from last night," I prompt.

Amy skips over to me, excitement filling her eyes. "He was sooo nice, I mean, like, too nice. Have you ever dated a guy who was too nice?" She doesn't wait for me to respond before plowing on. "He took me to Bodie's, you know, the seafood place. And then we went back to his apartment, and went all the way to pound town." She giggles.

"Gross," I say, jokingly.

She sticks her tongue out at me. "I'll spare you the details."

"Please do. Thank you."

"But it was a good night."

I finish with my camera and tell her to lean against a tree. I snap a few shots and direct her on how to model, and then take a few candid shots of her feeding the ducks and looking up at the sky.

We talk about nothing and everything as I work, and she asks me about Nana. I tell her Nana has started teaching a baking class at the community center.

"Leave it to my nana to suddenly get a life after I leave town," I joke, but part of me worries that she really didn't have a life when I was living with her. I feel guilty that she had to give up her activities to take care of me at the lowest point of my life.

"Jess! Amy!"

I shake my head to get rid of the guilt, but I know the thought of causing Nana to worry will plague me later, probably right before I go to bed, so I won't be able to get any sleep.

Abel's running down the path towards us, his hair is braided and swinging behind him like a pendulum. He's wearing nothing but black joggers and white tennis shoes. No shirt. His tattoos and toned chest are on full display.

"Sweet Jesus," Amy says, nearly drooling.

"Hey, Abel," I say, setting my camera in my bag, so I can take a momentary break from looking at Abel. My cheeks heat, and I just know my ears are bright ass red. Abel's smile is on full display when I look back up, dimples and all.

"What are you guys up to?" he asks.

"We're taking pictures for Jesse's class." Amy steps closer to Abel. "Wanna join?"

Lord, help me. I pray for Abel to say no. With him around, I'll never get anything done.

"Nah. Thanks though." He turns to me, and I wonder if his smile has an off switch. He has a really nice smile, but I don't understand why he keeps pointing it at me. "I just came to ask Jesse out."

"Me?" I croak out. My brain stutters to a stop. "Why?"

I don't think I have ever been asked out. My ninth-grade boyfriend kissed me during a game of spin the bottle at a birthday party and then we were kissing almost every other weekend, but I had to promise not to tell anyone what we were doing. With Benjamin, I learned that he liked me through the grapevine. A friend of a friend of a friend had told Alan that Benjamin liked me, and a week later we were holding hands in the cafeteria, and making out in the back of my dad's Mazda.

This. This direct offer of going out has never happened to me. I don't know what to do with it.

Besides, what happens when I tell him I'm ace? Abel's sexcapades are a legend around campus. He's slept with more people than I can count on my fingers and toes. I'm not shaming him--everyone has a different tally--but what if he expects me to be just another number in his repertoire?