Fate. A predetermined supernatural power. The will of the universe. Fate is order. It writes, and rewrites, gives and takes. It spins vibrant red strings that flow into the world and connect people who are destined to meet, to love, to share a story...
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I cross my legs in my chair and stare at Akito as he flips to the next page of his Japanese lit textbook. The classroom is extra quiet. Our Japanese teacher can be a pain in the ass and nobody ever wants to take a chance with her, so everyone is suddenly all obedient now, and I hate it. This silence. The still atmosphere makes my body feel like I'm back in the halls of my house, even though I'm not, even though there are still so many hours of school left.
I sigh and absently flip a pencil into the air with one hand, attempting to catch it with the other only to fail epically. I wince when it clatters loudly onto my desk, drawing looks from my classmates that make me want to sink into my chair. Akito, however, remains unfazed by the noise, his eyes staying glued to his textbook, and it pisses me off a little.
I grumble under my breath and rock back and forth in my chair, freezing when I see his mouth draw itself into a tight line. I glance down at my textbook, wondering if there's something in there that he's having trouble understanding, but I quickly realise that I've got the wrong section open so I lean closer, trying to catch a glimpse of the number at the bottom of the page that he's on.
That's when he turns on me, eyebrows pinched together. "What?" I whisper, similarly frowning.
He studies me for a moment, then pulls his rough notes out from underneath his textbook, flips to a blank page and starts to write something there. When he's finished, he puts the pencil down and passes the book to me.
You're staring at me. I stare at the words, confused, and look back to him. So what — he's suddenly okay with passing notes in class? He gets real mad when I pull shit like this though, so I never have a choice but to wait till class finishes if I want to talk to him. So annoying. I pick my pencil back up and start to scribble my reply underneath his message. He's the one who started it this time, so technically, he can't get mad at me for passing a note back to him, even if it's in the middle of class.
I drop the pencil and hold the book up so that he can see what I've written.
Do you have to study on sports day?
He squints his eyes to read my handwriting, and the way his face scrunches up makes me chuckle. His lips close in a small pout, and he returns a confused glance.
I put the book back down, write something else, and show it to him again.
I want you to watch me play.
"Baseball?" he mouths.
I nod. I'm going to win.
This makes him lift his eyebrows a little, and it's something I've never seen him do before. I press my mouth into the palm of my hand to hide my smile, and underline my first message again because he didn't answer yet.
Do you have to study on sports day?
He gestures for me to pass the book back to him, and when I do, he starts to write something in it again. I try to get a peek at what it is, but he frowns and hides the notebook with his hand. I impatiently kick at my desk, and the girl sitting in the front shoots me an annoyed glance. "Sorry," I mutter, and hear a muffled laugh to my right. When I return my attention to Akito, he hands the book back to me, and this time he's the one hiding the smile behind his hand. There's that feeling in my chest again, the one that feels so wrong and so right at the same time.
