Tulala ako sa harapan ng screen. Binalot ng puot at galit ang mata ko habang nakatitig rito. I could feel my breath shakes.
Hugo Cairo Theron F. Carvajal is a Filipino-American businessman, investor and philanthropist. Known as the founder and current chairman of HCT Holdings Inc.
Hinilot ko ang sentido ko at mariin na pinikit ang mata. I played with my swivel chair.
I can't even accept it.
How can someone still be very successful after doing something unacceptable? How can someone live their life the fullest after what they've done?
When I look back at myself, I couldn't feel anything but anger. Kumuyom ang palad ko habang nakatitig sa pangalan niya sa screen. Rage crept inside me. Nabuhay iyon.
How dare he face me with a head up high? Wala na yatang ikakapal pa ang mukha niya.
"Madam?" Vilma said on the phone. Natauhan ako roon.
I cleared the lumps on my throat. "Yes? How was it, V?"
"Nandito na po ako. Pumasok po siya sa condominium."
Kumunot ang noo ko. "Condominium? What do you mean? Anong condominium?" nataranta ako.
Hilaw na tumawa si Vilma. "Hindi ko alam, Ma'am... baka nagkataong pareho kayo ng—"
"No!" I stood up. "This can't be..." sinapo ko ang noo ko.
"Madam?"
"Umalis ka na d'yan."
"Ayos ka lang?"
"Just go, Vilma. I'll... take care of it."
My hands started shaking. I grabbed all the things I could find. I gathered it all inside of my bag. Napuno iyon dahil sa laptop, wallet at sandamakmak na make-up ko. Nataranta ako't mahulog pa ang mga iba.
My body froze when I heard the door open.
I ran to the shower. Tumakbo ako sa sulok at halos madapa dahil basa pa ang tiles. I sat on the corner and covered my mouth, scared that he would find me.
Hindi ko mai-dial ang numero ni Vilma. Hindi ko na makapa ang cellphone ko. I was scared to make a noise.
I closed my eyes and hugged myself.
This is so unfair.
How come that I'm the one hiding? How come that I'm the one that is scared to face him? Inipon ko lahat ng galit ko para lang magtago sa kaniya. This is so unfair...
I held my grudges better than he did. I don't care about healing. I'll heal in hell.
Pero saan ako dinala ng galit ko?
Dito. Sa sulok. Alongside with the fear that we would see each other again.
Dahan dahan ang pagtulo ng luha sa aking mga mata. Ramdam ko ang paggulong nito sa pisngi ko. Binalot ng lungkot ang paligid. All I can hear was grief and sorrow. It was loud.
Kinusot ko iyon at tumingin muli sa malawak na screen. Ngumuso ako. The people started clapping. I clapped, as well.
"This movie is so sad..." I wiped my tears.
Nakaabang ang tissue ni Hugo sa palad niya. He was looking at me the whole time I was crying. Pinipigilan ko talaga ang humikbi ng malakas dahil sa kaniya.
He didn't even shed a tear. Bato yata ang puso niya.
"Thanks," suminghot ako. "You weren't even sad. He just died!"
