𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐍𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐒, k.jacobs

THIRTY TWO.

THIRTY TWO ;
suffocating

real life !

It had taken nearly two weeks for them to fall back into their old routine. After their talk, Marley had expected things to go at least a little bit smoother as they attempted to get used to each other's presence once again. And for the most part, things did. Karl still walked on eggshells around her, terrified that he would somehow say something that would end their relationship permanently. But other than that, things had become somewhat normal between them again...ignoring the fact that nobody except their parents and mutual group of friends knew they were back together.

Karl wasn't too thrilled about waiting to tell the world.  Privacy was a thing the both of them valued, but he believed that waiting even a minute longer without telling people that he was finally happy again was something he was really struggling to do.

"One of my last tweets was announcing our break," he said with a frown as he sat down in front of her. "I don't want people to think that it was a permanent thing."

Marley sighed and massaged her temples, "then why even make the tweet in the first place?"

"You know why," he muttered as he lightly tapped his fingers on the table. "they're all very invested in my life and usually it doesn't bother me because i'm good at keeping personal things private. We weren't something that I had ever tried to hide and it helped because a majority of them respected our privacy while still being able to know that you're the most important person in my life. I didn't plan on telling them everything, Mars. Just deleting that original tweet and maybe posting a picture of us or something. I don't know...I just want that time of our lives to be over with and that's a big reminder."

She was quiet for a few seconds before she reached over and grabbed his hand. "Would tweeting something make you feel better about the situation?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I'm just...uncomfortable, I guess with even one person thinking that we're broken up when we're not. It sounds dumb when I say it out loud but permanently breaking up was something that kept me up at night the entire time I wasn't here with you. I don't know if it'll help. I really don't. But I was just hoping it would help me stop feeling like i'm suffocating...and maybe help it feel like things are finally normal again."

Marley frowned and lightly squeezed his hand, "things still don't feel at least a little normal to you yet?"

He let out a humorless laugh and ran a hand through his hair, "We haven't even left the house together in two weeks, Marley. No, things don't feel normal yet. Better, so much better. But not normal. Not when we're both hesitant to even be seen together in public. I don't want to hide away here forever, Mars. I just...I want things to go back to the way they were."

And that, unfortunately, happened to be what Marley was struggling with the most at the moment. What did normal even mean at this point? If it was anything close to the few months leading up to the break, she was pretty sure that history would just end up repeating itself again. And if normal for Karl meant the time before things had started to fall apart, before he was never home and the loneliness made a place for itself in her chest, that would sort of be a problem, too.

Marley was sure of the fact that she wanted to spend forever with him. In fact, she had never been more sure of anything else in her life before.

But things hadn't just gone downhill overnight. The months leading up to the break were almost as bad as the actual break was. Karl was never home and when he was, alls they did was argue and hurt each other over and over and over again.