𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐍𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐒, k.jacobs

TWENTY FIVE.

TWENTY FIVE ;
couldn't give a reason

real life !

Karl was having an awful time in California. It was definitely, by far, his worst trip there. Not only did Jimmy have them filming for extremely long hours, but he was also on the verge of a meltdown every time he let his mind wander. Ignoring Marleys text wasn't his intention, but the second he saw it, he nearly lost his lunch all over his hotel room. He had been trying to figure out what he was going to say during the entire flight, and when he came up with literally nothing, he forced himself to try again every time he got a little bit of free time.

And then he got that text asking him to call her as soon as possible, followed by another one reassuring him that it wasn't an emergency or anything. Normally, he would have called her the second he finished filming. Normally, he wouldn't be so damn terrified to hear her voice.

He felt horrible not answering her, but he couldn't confess what happened over a phone call while he was all the way in California.

Turns out, he had been stressed out for the wrong reason completely. The day after she had messaged him, Jimmy had pulled him to the side with a frown.

"Your mom called me," he had said, sounding a perfect mix of confused and worried. "Why did your mom call me?"

Karl heart had dropped the second his mom had started talking. She spent nearly three hours scolding him about how concerned she was about Marley and then proceeded to ask him if she had told him no.

Telling her that he hadn't even asked was probably one of the hardest things he ever had to do...besides having to watch the love of his life walk away from him, tears in her eyes and an unbearable ache in her heart that was completely his fault.

"We've been on a break," he admitted, voice breaking. "For almost two months. I messed things up so badly and I don't even know how to tell her—,"

After that, his mother had nervously confessed that she hadn't realized Marley didn't know about the proposal until well after she had gone home.

Karl had hung up a few minutes after that, feeding his mom a half assed excuse of why he needed to go, and then quickly shoving the phone back into Jimmys hands.

His mothers confession, while a blessing in disguise, was also the entire reason he had started spiraling into a breakdown. It was a long time coming, he knew that. But the panic he felt knowing that's what Marleys text was about and the fact that he hadn't been the one to tell her made him want to crawl in a hole and die.

He wondered if he was too young to be having a midlife crisis. Marley knew what happened and Karl was too much of a goddamn coward to hear what she had to say.

A part of Karl, however, was extremely grateful for his mom spilling the beans. He had been trying to work up the courage to admit what happened to Marley for weeks and he was still completely lost. But she knew now and she was probably absolutely livid with him for being such an idiot...and not answering her calls or messages probably wasn't helping his case.

Karl knew he was in the wrong. He was more than aware of how stupid and cowardly he was being, but he was also fucking terrified. Of confrontation, mostly. Marley was his favorite person in the entire world and he loved her more than anything...but she also scared the shit out of him. She meant everything to him and he knew her better than anyone else, but he couldn't figure out how she'd react to finding out how stupid he had been.

Would she be mad? Probably because he wasn't answering her calls, more than anything. Would she be relieved? He hoped so. It wasn't like the confession was a bad thing...despite his mom ruining the surprise, ( he couldn't really blame her for that, though. Not when it was his fault entirely ). Karl hoped she'd at least be a little understanding. Working up the courage to try and propose was one of the hardest things he's ever tried to do, and then being the reason everything went to shit?

Marley wasn't cruel. He knew that. But he did hurt her, even if it was unintentional. She had every right to be angry or upset at him...he just hoped she understood how badly he didn't mean for the break to happen.

For a long time, Karl didn't think he could ever live in a world where Marley wasn't by his side. He knew that he was luckier than most. He had amazing friends, a supportive family, and a job that he loved.

A job that was also incredibly overwhelming. He loved streaming, no doubt about it. It was one of his favorite things to do and he was so lucky to get to do it for a living. But with the platform he had, came thousands of hate comments and overall negativity. Marley understood it better than most, considering she got hate for just interacting with her friends.

And on the nights where the hate was too much, his biggest source of happiness was always there to just hold him while he desperately tried to pull himself together. He usually ended up crying, but Mars would always just run a hand through his hair and then gently place a kiss on is forehead before reassuring him that she would beat up anybody who hurt his feelings.

Because of the break they were on, he came to the conclusion that he could live in a world by himself. He wouldn't want to, but he could. His days would be dull and colorless and awful, but he could do it. It would be the worst hell he could ever imagine, but if that's what Marley wants after they finally talk, he won't try and change her mind. Not if that's her final decision.

And as Karl laid back on the bad and watched his phone light up with her contact picture as she called him once again, he couldn't help but silently pray that he didn't have to spend the rest of his life without the person who made him the happiest.

A/N