Kassandra Bauer and the Chamber of Secrets. (Book 2)

Chapter 5: Professor Big Ego.

So after... that. It was time for Defense Against the Dark Arts. And if it wasn't enough to have a big shot "celebrity" teaching us. The whole Classroom was filled with glorified pictures of the man. He walked down from the stairs and reached for Neville's copy of Travels with Trolls. And he held it up to show his winking face.

"Me." Lockheart pointed to his winking photo and winked as well. Gilderoy Lockheart. Order of Merlin, Third Class. Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award, After all I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"

There was cricket chirps all throughout the classroom. And a Banshee is nothing. Try fighting the Minotaur like Ethan did. That alone tops anything that Lockheart could try to do. 

"I see you've all bought the complete set of my books. Now I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about, just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in." 

Malaka. I barely read one of them. Well... I'm going to fail.

He handed out the test papers to the front of the class. "You have thirty minutes. Go!"

I looked down at the paper. "What is Gilderoy's favorite color? His secret ambition? Greatest achievement to date? These don't seem like real questions to me. I just guess.

Half an hour later and Lockheart collected the papers. And he looked so disappointed. "Hardly any of you remembered that my favorite color is lilac. I say so in Year with the Yeti..." I drown him out. And I could tell Ryan was doing exactly the same. "These isn't real Defense Against The Dark Arts stuff. This is about him." I said to Hermione.

But Hermione told me to be quiet as she was awestruck by Professor Big Ego. You know for a girl who's supposed to have a lot of intellect, you'd think Hermione would know better then to listen to a big ego. Come to think of it, Lockheart sounded an awful lot like that Vampire guy in Ethan's class. Victor or something like that. 

"But Miss. Granger knew my secret ambition to rid the world of hair care potions. Clever Girl." Lockheart praised.

Hermione beamed with pride. "Oh, please." Ryan muttered. "He's just like Emily." 

Lockheart moved on to the next lesson. "It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to Wizard kind." He then pulled out a cage on his desk. It was rattling. "You may find yourselves facing your worst fear in this room. But fear not. No harm will befall you whilst  I am here. I must ask you not to scream." He grabbed the curtain over the cage. "It might provoke them." 

And over the cage was several small blue winged creatures. 

"Cornish Pixies?" Seamus asked confused. 

"Freshly caught Cornish Pixies." Lockheart corrected. 

"Oh, sorry." I laughed it off.

"Laugh if you will, Miss. Bauer." Lockheart replied. "But-" 

"You don't have to tell me that Pixies can be trick little blighters. I already know that." I interrupted.

"Kassie. Don't be rude." Hermione punches my arm. 

But Lockheart smiled. "Oh, it's quite alright, Miss. Granger. Miss. Bauer here is a smart girl. Now let's see what you make of them." And he started to open the cage.

"Um... I don't think that's a good idea, Professor." Ryan interrupted. "We got an infestation of Pixies in my house a few years ago. It was horrible." 

"Haven't I told you before, Mr. Tyler. That no harm will befall you?" Lockheart asked. He then released the cage latch. 

And the Pixies all swarmed lose. Like a swarm of Locusts. And they all swarmed towards us.