More than just a friend || Roger Taylor

55- when they wanna be apart

6th November 1982

I didn't realise how much could happen in a year until I started spending everyday with Roger. Because a lot happened.

Queen released Hot Space, I met David fucking Bowie, the band toured the world until about three days ago, and realised pretty quickly that they didnt seem to like each other much anymore. Queen was a collective at the bands start, but now at the height of their fame they couldn't be more separate- and it wasn't rubbing off greatly on Roger.

They took separate cars to every event, went to separate parties and each wanted separate things, and the only thing managing to keep them whole was their music, which wasn't a strong glue after the reaction to their latest album. And their piles of money weren't stacking high.

Brian was calm, didn't smoke, wasn't a huge drinker, and simply loved his guitar. But he was a perfectionist and wanted things done his way. John just wanted to go home and be a dad, loving his family and wife more than his passion for music and habit of partying. Freddie wanted everything he could have... and I mean everything. He didn't care- he wanted it all, no matter how much it cost.

I think Roger wanted some basic conclusion of what being a rockstar supposedly meant. He wanted the wild parties and hateful hangovers, the love for music and tours that went on for weeks, but he also wanted normality. I seemed to be that one glimpse of normality, but I didn't quite know how to deal with that.

As for me, I was the same. Same job, same friends, in addition to Connie and Summer's very new, very different partners who I was yet to learn more about, same asswhole father who was stuck behind bars pleading for his final day to be nearer. It was almost sad how similar my life was, how climatic it had been in comparison, but i wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change anything- ever.

That's why I found myself sat amongst the crowds of Julian's same flat, the six of us (including Connie's new boyfriend Sam) sat listening aimlessly to music as I waited to hear Roger's drawn conclusion from the bands meeting.

"Do you think they're gonna split ?" Connie asked, shimmying closer to Sam as his dark, black head of hair titled in her direction and warm, deep green eyes looked down at her in awe. Julian and Leo were paired in the kitchen, both making a cake for a reason I hadn't figured to be other than out of boredom as Summer sat besides me contently playing a game of pocket scrabble against me.

"I don't think so... they're not stupid. But they need a break. The whole time I've been with him it's tour, album, tour, album, tour, solo album... it doesn't stop. It never does. And John and Brian have kids and Freddie is... well Freddie's being Freddie. But moneys gonna spent like it means nothing to them. It's ridiculous."

"They won't split." Julian insisted, licking a spoon coated in cake batter as Leo looked at him confusingly. "They won't... but yeah you're right. They need a break. I want Roger to marry you first."

"Marry me ! Marriage isn't Roger's thing don't be ridiculous." I chuckled, looking at the room as it filled with confusion expressions, ones almost hurt on my own behalf. "He doesn't want to get married. He's never seen the point in it."

"Do you see the point in it ?" Sam suddenly asked, an eyebrow raised earned from Connie as I took a moment to think, even though I only thought of how to place my words- not my answer. He was the last person in the room any of us had expected the question to come from, but after dating Connie for almost five months and finding himself invited to most game nights- he was subtly becoming a part of our weird little group.

"I've only ever seen marriage as something that keeps people together when they want to be apart. It's an excuse to keep living the same wretched life when the fires finally burnt out. So... I'd have to be a hundred percent certain I'd met 'the one' it I chose to marry them. Cause I won't be getting divorced."