Novel of Yesterday's Memories (Campus Series#2)

Chapter 6

Growing.

I can't understand why love truly exists. I mean, I am not a love bias, bitter, against, or what you call that. I'm a love... traumatize. I can't understand what I feel sometimes towards him, from being my life saver at the bar, giving me coffee, giving me a ride, helping me to sell products, and now... to his private messages.

It can make me sometimes smile for no reason. I can't hide and stop it, it's just suddenly popping up while I'm reading his message. I found it cringe... at the start. To a man with undercut hair and long messy hair at the top, a combination of pink and red lips, a five-nine footer of height, glowing and fresh skin, and a man who is always smiling at me. I don't know if I actually fall.

I tried to hide it, I don't want you to observe that I'm asking myself if I already fell to you. Well, there are the simple things you did that always make my day and make me ask further. You keep on showing up when I feel so down, and I don't have any motivation. With your smile, my mood is lifted up into a positive mood. You are always there when something strange is happening. You are always at my campus when it's uwian time, and giving me things even if I don't like them. It's like you're trying to know me.

I tried to tell myself that you are just flirting with me. But I wanna make it deeper even if you're just. It's like... I want to spend time with you even if you're talking like a flirt. It maybe sounds crazy.

I know how impossible it is. I don't know many things about you. We're different, based on your clothes and things, I and you are afar, we're completely different.

I don't have anything to say. But I'm looking forward. I just write this for future purposes. I remembered my mom is like this, writing on a piece of paper and putting it on a box with a note outside. That makes my heart lessen the pain.

If you think that you hurt me, no. I just want you to know that I'm like this when you're showing up some signals. Even if you're just flirting back then, reading this from the future, you made me somehow smile and makes my day more memorable.

So if you saw this message and actually reading it now. Please don't laugh because I'm so serious, I don't know if I'm giving you the right thought to that signal.

Now and lemniscate, this will be taken as a memory of us.

With gratitude,
Mattia Zaireen Viharn.

Nagaayos ako para sa pagpasok ko ngayon. Isang linggo ng makaraan and fun and run to fun ad walk real quick. Paano ba naman ay naglakad nalang kami dahil hindi naman namin kakayaning tumakbo ng gann kahaba at katagal.

Inaayos ko and collar ng admit ko ng dumapo and making paningin sa isang deck. Napansin kong wala an doon si Isabelle an kahapon ay nandito pa. Baka nakauwi na.

Matapos ng unang paguusap namin ay hindi na ulit kami nakapagusap. Hindi nalang talaga ako naghabol pa dahil kung gugustuhin kong malaman ay gusto kong si 'ya and kusang lumapit sa akin at hindi binablockmail ko pa. Alam ko ding may pinagdadaanan si 'ya.

Naalimpungatan ako kagabi dahil sa naririnig kong mga iyak. Dahil magkapantay lang and taas ng deck namin. Nakita kong nakabukas pa and ilaw ng deck niya, naiiyak si 'ya habang nakatingin sa cellphone. Marahil ay dahil nanaman sa pamilya niya.

Huminga nalang ako ng malalim at kinuha and backbag ko sa may study chair ko. Lalabas na sana ako ng pintuan ng mapahawak ako sa chan ko dahil kumalam ito. Hindi pa ako nakain ng umagahan dahil wala na akong natitirang allowance.

Hindi na ako kumukuha ng pera kay mama. Tanging mga part time part time lang ang inaasahan kong pagpalagay sa chan ko. May mga binibili at pinaggagastusan din si mama lalo na ang isang bagay, ayokong mamublema pa si 'ya.