13 Miss You

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(Stella's Prospective)

Photography quote: "A photograph is a collision between a person with a camera and reality. The photograph is typically as interesting as the collision is." Charles Harbutt

Working on this project hurts more than I thought it would. Hopeful Zion gets what I'm trying to say through this photo. Clicking the shutter button thousands and thousands of times moving each object positioned in the right angle, to capture the right image. I look up at Scar and Cole with a weak smile.

"Thanks, guys, for posing for some of my photos" I said as I kept moving around clicking the shutter button, in a dark room with just enough light to create a shadow of the two couple in front of a red piece of paper. The shadows of them makes me remember the dance that Zion and I shared last year.

"No problem, Stella" Scar said as she grips Coles hands that were on her waist tighter looking up at him with a smile. They kiss and I capture the moment that led me to fantasy Zion and me.

"Alright done" I said, clearing my throat hopefully along with my mind. "Thanks again, I have to go capture some other photos for back up and adding onto this for editing" I spoke softly as I looked through the photos.

"Sweet, I'll be home soon. Cole and I are going to the movies. I'll give you time to do some shoots" Scar says leaving with Cole, clinging onto his arm. I smiled and waved them goodbye as I started to pack up supplies for the lighting, placing them back in their bags. I take a moment sitting on my chair, placing my head on my desk as a red rose lay in front of me in a bucket. I eye it with my watery eyes. I lifted my head up, grabbed a lighter and made the rose contact with the flame, setting it on fire. I quickly took a couple of shoots. I stare at the burning rose taking photos. I then set the camera down as I look at the flames going crazy in the bucket. After spacing out watching the flames dance in the bucket I put the fire out with water and sighed. I opened my window letting air in so the smoke detectors wouldn't freak.

"I miss you bastard" I cry and curl up in my bed, fighting myself to breathe. I haven't eaten in four days, and I can tell Scar is worried about me. I try to not fuck up and ghost her but all I can do is shut people out. I was already ahead of schedule with the project, so I decided to take a nap, a very long nap. All I had to do was edit and I still had more than half a month left. My motivation somewhat died after I recalled all of my favorite moments with Zion. Recalling them made me have a dream. I didn't think it could be so real, making me re-live the dance with Zion.

***Stellas Dream***

"Is that a challenge, little one?" His rough, deep, yet smooth voice appears in my head, and it feels like I'm awake but I'm not.

"If you want" I smirk devilishly. Our dance felt like we were in a type of battle. Yet there was a type of spark between us. It felt like we were running from each other but still coming back to one another. Recalling him holding me in his arms made me shiver in my sleep. Spotlight on us dancing, he picks me up like I'm as light as a feather making me arch my back looking up at the ceiling. I shimmer my way down his body and move my hips to the rhythm of our song.

"God Stella" Zion's growls in my ear making me wake up. I was sweating and the beeping of my phone startled me, opening my eyes even wider.

"Damn school" I sighed. I heard a knock on my door.

"STELLA!" I hear from the outside of my room.

"What" I groaned as I opened my door, with a black tank top and blue short shorts on, my hair all messy in a ponytail, I just put up. I make eye contact with Scar but sense someone right next to her. With my sleepy eyes I look beside her, and I see Jay. I slammed the door shut in embarrassment and hissed at Scar. "YOU COULD HAVE WARNED ME THAT WE HAD A VISITER!" I yell through the door getting my favorite hoodie and another pair of baggy pants. I quickly brushed my hair and put it in a higher ponytail. I walked out of my room taking a deep breath with my bag that had my school supplies in it. I spot Jay on the couch, not seeing Scar anywhere. "That bitch" I said quietly under my breath with a smile.

"I asked if she would let me drive you to school. So don't be mad at Scar. I wanted to talk to you about a couple things. I gave you time and I think the time I gave you was enough to process that I'm your childhood friend" Jay stood up and I swore he got taller the last time I saw him. He reminded me of Zion towering over me, challenging me to dance with him. Or it might just be because I'm emotional and miss the bastard. To be honest, it's selfish of me, but I forgot that Jay and I had an awkward moment. That just shows how Zion fucks with me.

"Sorry, about well, everything. I just woke up when you appeared. And I'm sorry I haven't contacted you in a while. I just been thinking about a lot of things" I said, shaking my head as he got closer to me. His arms came close to me like he was about to pull me towards him, but he hesitated, and they fell to the side of his body. I looked up at him in confusion.

"Come on, let's get to school" he said. I followed him, without even hesitating. For some reason his voice made me feel even more down. The atmosphere was so serious in the car, I thought I was in trouble. It was quiet for a couple minutes then he finally spoke. "What is your relationship with Zion?" He said out of nowhere.

"I would like to know the same thing" I said and looked out of the moving car window.

"Can you tell me why you've been avoiding everyone?" He asked

"Is this what you wanted to ask? What you wanted to know is about Zion and me?" Anger started up in my voice as I narrowed my eyes, voice deeper than normal, still looking out the moving car.

"If I'm being honest... Yes" He hesitated but after he said "yes" his shoulder relaxed but mine got tense.

"I don't know, and at the moment I don't want to. I don't want to talk about it." My voice cracked as I recall my feelings for Zion. He parked the car and locked the doors, as soon as he saw me reach for the door handle.

"You know but you just won't say it. I need you to say it for me Stella" he said making me feel my nerves crawl up my spine. I hissed as I grab my bag from the car floor.

"I love him. Although right now It's complicated" I admitted. Tears from my eyes fall down my checks, without me noticing. "I miss him, and I'm HURTING" I exaggerated the last word as I unlocked the doors and got out of the car. "Thanks for the ride" I didn't even look Jay's way. Then I ran in school and went into the bathroom, slapping my face with water, taking deep breaths. When I collected myself, I went to class. Not even looking if Zion was in front of me or not, I sat down and thought. I miss him so much that when I see fire I just have to reach out and touch it. Forcing myself to feel something other than the emptiness he left me feeling. Hoping that the flame would show me a spark of warmth, symbolizing some hope between Zion and me. Hoping that Zion and I still had a spark between us.

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