Why am I here? (Sequel to the meet-up!)

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TW - periods, coming out

Wilbur stared at me in shock, and I immediately regretted my decision. I didn't need to come out to him. I could have just blamed the heating pad on a normal stomach pain or something.

"oh" he finally muttered, snapping back into reality. I watched as he looked at me as if his entire view of me. Like as if he thought I was a banana but actually I was an orange and now he didn't like me.

I shifted uncomfortable under his gaze, shrinking backwards into my chair while he looked away before turning back towards me.

"How long does this have to go in for?" He asked, taking the heating pad from my hand and rolling over to the microwave in his chair.

While Techno and Tubbo let out quiet sighs of relief, I felt a slight weight lift off my shoulders. Just a slight one. I could almost guarantee I'd have to deal with this again later.

"Just heat it up for a minute please" I adjusted my sitting position and smiled at him as he heated up the bean bag packet for me.

When it was done, he threw it over to me, and I put it under my hoodie, pressing it against my stomach, dulling the pain.

I thought Wilbur would have just started the stream back up again, but then he grabbed a bunch of tissues and then grabbed a little container of something red.

"What's that?" Tubbo asks, confused of what Wil was doing. Wil didn't answer, but instead dabbed some of the red onto the tissue, making it look bloody before handing it to me.

"Put this in your nose. Then we can blame the small break on a bloody nose" Wilbur smiled at me and I took the tissues from him.

"Thank you so much" I said, and positioned the tissue so it looked like it was clogging a bloody nose. I was glad he had thought of this even if the tissue somewhat made it hard to breathe. "Wait why do you have fake blood in your desk drawers?"

His smile scared me as he turned to face his computer, fixing his stream and then apologising to chat, blaming it all on my imaginary nosebleed.

Chat didn't even question it, mostly chanting for Wil to go to the next question already so that they could win.

After another twenty minutes of kahoot, I ended up getting 3rd, with two chat members getting 1st and 2nd. Techno was close behind me at 4th, and then Tubbo was somehow in the 2 thousands. I was surprised about how good of a place I got, but was even more surprised about Tubbo's place.

"What should we do next? Maybe one that is easier for Tubbo?" Wil said, smiling as he scrolled through the kahoots that showed up after he searched up Tubbo's name.

"Ugh I have to do this again?" Tubbo groaned, flopping down on the desk dramatically.

"It wasn't THAT hard" I say and Tubbo groans, glaring at me.

"Easy for you to say smartass. You went to college"

"Actually I didn't. No clue how the british schooling works but I was still in high school when you dropped out of college"

"Oh"

. . .

When the stream was done, Wilbur turned off his computer fully before turning around to me. I would say that I had forgotten why he was suddenly acting so serious, but actually I remembered. I had been hoping that he would forget.

Upon realising what he wanted to talk about, Tubbo and Techno left, saying they were going to check out the café nearby. Cowards.

"You realise that you didn't have to come out to me just to heat up your heating pad" He laughed, breaking the awkward silence that had come over the room.

"I noticed" And I extremely regret it. "But I was going to come out to you eventually so I thought that I might as well do it then" Not very much of a lie. But I should have waited. My thoughts sounded so real that I was scared I was saying them out loud. But by the way he didn't react to them, maybe it was just my thoughts.

He nodded, a smile growing on his face. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me"

"Thank you for accepting me" I say back, a calm feeling of relief coming over me.

"Of course. But if someone doesn't accept you, just call me." A moment of silence "Or Techno. Maybe call Techno. I don't think I could fight them"

"Deal" I let myself smile and stand up from the chairs, silently cursing when I feel the sudden flow but don't react as I follow Wil out of his office.

We ended up heading towards the café where Techno and Tubbo said that they were and as we walked, I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened last time I had gone to a café (which wasn't very long ago). Would I see her again?

But we walked into the café no problem and went over to where Tubbo was waving us over, a giant smile on his face as his body vibrated, a half-full iced coffee in front on him. Across the table was Techno, who was reading a book and sipping from what looked like a hot, black coffee.

I sat next down to the caffeinated Tubbo, and smile at Techno as Wilbur left us to get himself a drink.

As soon as I sat down, Tubbo began to speak faster than I could comprehend. I just nodded along as he spoke and looked over at Techno for help. And yet all Techno didn't help, only sending me a quick thumbs-ups before going back to his book.

Deciding I don't want to deal with a super energised Tubbo, I mumbled a quick excuse about needing the washroom and left. Thankfully the washrooms were all unisex and little rooms, so I didn't have to bother about choosing a washroom and then getting kicked out or watched by the other people. 

Once I was in the washroom and the door was locked, I went to the sink and turned it on, getting my fingers wet and then running them through my hair, fixing it and revealing my earrings. 

I wanted to go back home. Home-home though, not just to Tubbo's house.

But where was home?

I had loved staying with Eclipse and Solar, but I had always felt scared, like something was going to happen. 

The last time I remember feeling like I was home was when I was with my parents, the day before I left for the first meet-up. 

But now that they're gone, would I ever feel at home again?

With a sigh, I stood up straighter and washed my hands, turning off the sink and then leaving the bathroom, heading back towards the table. 

I just had to get through maybe another hour of this. Then I could go back to Tubbo's house and sleep. Yeah. I just need some sleep. Then everything will be fine.