blues and greens (barson)

i.

Olivia walked into the 1-6 early the morning of July 5th 2022.
Her black purse over one arm and her glasses perched on her head as she crossed the near empty squad room.
Entering her office, she began setting her things down.
"Good morning," a voice said from her small seating area in the corner, startling her into dropping her phone.
She turned, "Elliot."
"Hope it's alright that I let myself in."
"I'm not really supposed to let anyone be alone in this office."
He didn't look like he'd slept all night and the extra large coffee in his hand told a similar story.
"What can I do for you, detective?" She asked as she pulled her chair out to sit down into.
"You haven't called."
She nodded, rubbing at her face, "I wanted to. I've just been so busy. With Noah finishing the school year and the cases we're working here, I'm sorry."
He nodded in return.
Movement in the squad room pulled her attention for a moment as she saw Amanda and Carisi walk in. She hadn't been expecting the ADA but she watched as he pressed a careful kiss to Rollins' head and muttered something to her before he turned and headed back to the elevator.
Olivia turned back to Elliot, "here."
She took a moment to close all of the blinds to the office and then gestured at the seat across the desk from hers.
Elliot took that as an invitation to share things that she'd missed, an update on Eli and one of Kathleen. She mumbled an inquiry about Dickie.
She glanced at her phone, realizing that the time she'd set aside to her paperwork done was rapidly slipping away and started working as she listened to him, tossing questions to keep him talking as she worked.
"Liv?"
She looked up at her former partner, "hm?"
"I asked if you'd want to get dinner with me Friday night?"
Those words, that question.
Fifteen years ago she would've been thrilled. Hell, four months ago she would've been thrilled.
However, now? She was beginning to be worn down by the way Elliot seemed to believe that she was still the same detective he'd left behind, when that was far from true.
She considered for another moment, deciding that this was his last shot to be the man she'd fallen in love with all those years ago.
"That sounds lovely."
He smiled, that famous Stabler smile, dimples and all, nodding.
There was a knock at her door.
"Liv?" Amanda's voice came as the door opened a bit.
"I'm a bit-"
"I know, you've got company, but there's a... someone here who refuses to speak to anyone but you."
"Take them to the interview room?"
"Well, I did, but... she's like six?"
"Alone?"
Elliot perked up a bit with curiosity.
"Yeah, she has a backpack and a water bottle and she's asking for you."
Olivia stood and walked over to the window that looked into the interview room, pulling the cord to open the blinds to look into the room.
There was something familiar about the little girl but she wasn't sure what.
"Did she give any inclination as to why she's here?" Liv inquired.
"Nope. Said she'd only talk to Olivia Benson."
Liv nodded and grabbed a notepad, Elliot, that sounds great. You should get to work."
He glanced at the clock and shot up, "damn. Late again. I'll see you later."
He moved to give her a kiss but she turned her head so he caught her cheek, he didn't think much of it and headed for the door. On his way out he gave Amanda a small nod.
"Did she give a name?" Liv asked.
The blonde shook her head as she looked through the window, "do you want me to stay here?"
"Yeah, if you see Fin come in grab him too."
Amanda nodded.
Olivia took a deep breath and headed through the door to the interview room.
"Are you Olivia Benson?" The young girl's voice was soft.
"I am," Olivia smiled, moving to sit at the table with the girl.
Her brown hair was pulled back in two low pigtails and her backpack was still on her back in the chair while her hands were on the table in front of her.
The young girl looked toward her and the gaze froze Olivia in her tracks.
She knew immediately something was wrong.
"What's your name, sweetie?"
"I'm Aspen."
"Hi, Aspen. What brings you in today?"
"Well, my daddy told my nanny, Luisa, to put me on a train and he gave me a list of all the trains I had to take."
"Why did he do that?" Olivia was shocked.
"He and mommy have been yelling at each other a lot lately before she went away and he said that 'those doctors gave us the wrong baby'," she looked at Olivia.
Olivia's heart started pounding.
"I don't know what that means though because my mommy has a scar that she told me was from when I was born."
Olivia could feel the acid building in her stomach, the cold sweat on the back of her neck.
The little girl blinked at her, "daddy said he was going away too and he told Luisa that she had to drop me off and find a new job."
"Where did your mommy go?" Olivia asked.
"I don't know, she left when I was at school a while ago, I guess. I have a letter for you," she turned and slid her backpack off and dug out an envelope.
"Give me one second okay?" Olivia stood and went back into her office, she grabbed her phone and sent a message without even thinking and then grabbed a pair of gloves.
She pushed her glasses up her nose and didn't look at Rollins or Fin who were by the glass as she went back to the interview room.
The little girl handed her the letter and now, wearing gloves, she opened it.

"Ms. Olivia Benson,
I know that likely you will do an investigation but I would prefer you didn't.
Enclosed are the documents relinquishing parental rights to Aspen as my wife and I have decided is our only option. Our marriage fell apart following the realization that she is not genetically our child. If you must open an investigation it should be against Hopeful Futures. We were told that the embryo they were implanting in my wife was ours, when Aspen grew to look nothing like us I had her DNA tested without telling my wife and discovered she was not ours. But your DNA appeared."

There was no signature and Olivia knew that it would be very difficult to find who'd written this letter, to find the people Aspen had known as her parents for the first years of her life.
"How old are you, Aspen?" Olivia asked.
"I'm six," she held up six fingers.
Olivia nodded and took a deep breath.
She believed the letter. She didn't even need to question it. She knew it was possible. She'd frozen half her eggs after that conversation with Stabler in the car so long ago when he said she'd be a good mother. The embryos came later, an agreement between two friends that was forgotten after Noah came into her life.
"Do you like puzzles, Aspen?"
The little girl nodded.
Olivia moved and grabbed one of the puzzles from the shelf, "would it be alright if my friend Amanda came and worked on this puzzle with you for a little while?"
"I have a friend named Amanda too!" Aspen said excitedly, "is your friend Amanda as nice as my friend Amanda?"
"Absolutely she is," Olivia smiled.
The young girl grinned and nodded, all of her previous fears and concern melting from her face.
Olivia felt something crack inside her and she took a deep breath as she nodded and headed toward her office, picking the letter up as she went.
Amanda slipped past her.
Aspen looked up, "are you Amanda?"
Rollins nodded, her stomach dropped as the little girl looked at her and she turned to look at Liv.
The eyes were unmistakable. She knew immediately who this child's father was.
Liv didn't look at Amanda, she went into her office and closed the door, turned off the speaker and lowered the blinds again. Finally, collapsing into her chair.
Fin came over and sat a water bottle down.
"What's goin' on, Cap? You look like you saw a ghost."
She sat the letter down.
There was a knock on her office door.
Fin looked at her and then moved across the office to open it.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Fin demanded.
"Let him in, Fin."
"Sergeant," she heard him say, "what can I do for you today, captain?"
The impersonal greeting hurt. She knew it was her own fault, she knew things didn't have to get as bad as they had in recent months.
She took a deep breath, "Fin, give us a minute?"
Fin nodded, glancing between Olivia and the new visitor before leaving the room.
"You really don't have a right to send me a text demanding my presence anymore, Olivia."
She looked up, "I don't have time for your sass, Rafael."