Valentine's Day, February 14th, 2023, was a Tuesday.
Olivia and Rafael had a little dinner just the two of them at a nice restaurant and then came home with little boxes of chocolates for each of the children who were still talking about their parties at school.The Rollins-Carisi wedding was slated to be that Saturday, the 18th. The squad was all invited, as well as Rollins' mother and her father for her side of the church. Carisi's side was packed with his whole family.
It was still a relatively small affair.
Aspen, dressed in a pale blue dress, had been singing in the time leading up to the actual wedding at the request of Amanda, who'd heard her practicing a few weeks before. Felix was playing the piano at Carisi's request, with Maddox sitting beside him turning the music. Both boys were wearing little grey three-piece suits with pale blue ties that matched Aspen's dress. Both Felix and Aspen
Noah was wearing the same suit, as he sat in the crowd with Lucy.
Olivia was at the back of the church with Amanda, wearing a dress in a very similar pale blue to Aspen's. Amanda had asked her to be the Maid of Honor.
Billie and Jesse were wearing the same dress as Aspen, they were the flower girls, and Amanda's nephew, Mason, was the ring bearer. Carisi's niece, Mia, was a bridesmaid.
Rafael stood next to Carisi at the altar, he was wearing a grey three-piece suit, just like the younger boys. Fin was on Rafael's other side, the other person that had been picked to be a groomsman.The ceremony went beautifully and in the end, Mr. and Mrs. Carisi celebrated with Dominick taking her hand and cheering.
Olivia and Rafael would agree that they had never seen either of them happier in the time they'd known them.
Carisi took the girls, one in each arm, and picked them up for photos before they headed to the limousine that would take them to the hotel for the reception.At the hotel, there was a nice dinner and then music and an open bar. The kids were all dancing and having a great time, a lot of Carisi's family was dancing and Amanda's parents stuck around for a little while before her dad needed to go home to rest.
About an hour into the reception, Felix approached Olivia where she was sitting with Rafael, Fin, and Phoebe.
"Momma," he greeted.
"Hi, Felix, what's up?"
"I was wondering if you would dance with me?" The boy asked.
Olivia grinned, "of course, I will."
He held out a hand and led her out onto the dance floor.
Noah had taught all of them some simple dancing for this and Felix looked so excited to be dancing with Olivia.
"You did a wonderful job playing the piano for the ceremony," Olivia complimented, "you've come so far in the last few months."
He gave her a smile, he was missing his two front teeth now and he had the cutest little gapped smile, "I tried extra hard not to mess up. I'm really glad Maddox was able to help turn pages, that woulda messed me up pretty bad."
She smiled as he led them in the little dance, "you're a wonderful pianist, Felix."
"Thanks."
"I'm very proud of you."
He looked down a little like he was humbled by her pride, when he spoke it was barely a whisper, "I'm really glad you came for us."
She tilted her head a little, he'd never said anything like this, "you are?"
He nodded, "Maddox always tries to protect me since he's a little older than me... by like ten minutes or somethin' and he kept promisin' we'd find someplace when we were with the lady who took care of us after. She had a lot of what she called 'lost kids' and we had a bunk bed in a room with four other boys bigger than us. But he kept promising someone would come to bring us to a new home soon and when you did, he leaned over to me in the car on the way to home and said 'I told you'."
Olivia remembered some whispering in the car that day, she smiled some, "you've never told me any of this."
"He's quieter than me, but one of our first days there this one bigger boy was mean to me and Maddox punched him right in the face. He got in trouble for it but no one messed with us anymore. I didn't like it there very much."
"I'm glad Rafa and I were able to bring you home."
"I know you're our real momma and papi but is it okay if sometimes I kinda miss our first mami?"
Olivia gave him a sad smile, "of course it is, honey. She raised you for the first few years of your life. It's okay to miss her."
"She wasn't as nice to us as you are," he said softly, looking around at the others on the dance floor, "and didn't take us to see her friends or to fun parties, but sometimes on good nights when papa was out she would read us stories and sing us songs she learned in Cuba when she was little. Or she would make us some cookies, she made good cookies sometimes but papa didn't like sweet things so she'd only make a couple at a time."
Liv's heart hurt as she listened to him talk about his first family, the sadness behind his words.
"I'm really glad that you found us," he whispered, "I really like our little family. I like that we get to do fun stuff and that I can play music and Maddox can do his art stuff. I like having an older brother and a big sister."
Olivia spun him around and pulled him back close, "we are very happy to have you, Felix. Every day, getting to see you smile... getting to see you grow and become yourself... it's truly a gift."
"Can I ask you something?" He asked as the song they'd been dancing to ended and a new one began.
"Of course."
"What was your mom like?"
Liv considered for a moment, "she was... she tried her best with what she had."
"What do you mean?"
"Well," Liv hadn't been asked about Serena since Noah mentioned her over a year ago now, "she didn't really plan to have a child and... she was very sad and sometimes that sadness was something she didn't know how to handle so she would make me feel bad."
"That's not very nice."
Olivia gave a sad smile, "no, no it's not."
"Are you sad?"
"Right now?" Olivia looked around, her eyes falling on the newlyweds as they were talking to some folks and then to where Rafael was dancing with Aspen, "no. Sometimes I wish she was around to see all of the good things I've done but mostly I'm just very grateful for you all and this family we have together."
"Me too."
Maddox appeared beside them and tapped Felix's shoulder, the way Noah had showed them how to do, "could I cut in?"
Felix smiled at his twin brother and then looked up at Olivia, "thank you for dancing with me, Momma."
She leaned down and hugged him before she took Maddox's hand to dance with him. He'd grown an inch or two in the last couple months and was a bit taller than Aspen now, but Aspen was a bit small for her age.
"How are you?" Maddox asked her as they danced, sounding very mature.
"I'm having a nice day," she replied, "how are you?"
"Good. I danced with Billie for a little bit but I had to make sure I came to dance with you before you go dance with Papi," he smiled.
"Well, even if I had, I would still dance with you, sweetheart," she smiled at the young boy.
"I know," he gave her a cheeky grin, "I just wanted to make sure I beat him to it."
She laughed, "do you two have a secret little competition that I don't know about?"
"If I told you it wouldn't be a secret," he smiled wider, revealing his own couple of missing teeth.
Seeing the gaps in his smile reminded her of how much Rafael loved playing Tooth Fairy, he always got so excited to give the kids dollars. It was just another little thing that made her smile whenever she thought of it.
"You're kind of sassy today," she responded.
He wrinkled his nose, such a Rafa movement, as he laughed a little, "I think I'm in a good mood. I'm excited because I brought my sketch pad and when we're done dancing I'm gonna try to draw Uncle Sonny and Aunt Amanda dancing together since it's a special day for them."
"That sounds wonderful, Maddox. I know they would both love that."
"It's really cool to have a bigger kinda family that we get to spend time with," he said, looking around, "we used to have our mami's mami but when she went to sleep with the angels, we didn't really go visit anyone ever anymore so I think it's cool that we have our new abuelita and Uncle Sonny and Aunt Amanda and Jesse and Billie and Uncle Fin. I really like seeing all of them."
Olivia once again found herself full of joy, hearing another one of the children talk about how happy their family made them.
Fin laughed somewhere in the distance, garnering a glance from Liv. She laughed a bit as she saw Aspen had moved from dancing with Rafa to dance with Fin.
Rafa was standing at the edge of the dance floor, his suit jacket was gone and he was in just his vest and dress shirt as he was leaned down to listen to Felix.
Noah was sitting with Jesse and having some water after they'd been dancing together since the music started.
"I'm glad you like seeing them all," Liv replied to Maddox, "they like seeing all of you kids, too."
Maddox pushed some of his hair from his face, it was getting long since he'd decided he wanted to grow it out, "you and Papi are going to have one of these big wedding parties sometime soon, too, right?"
Olivia was a bit surprised but gave a small shrug, "eventually. We're not in any big rush."
"Will you wear a pretty white dress like Aunt Amanda is?"
She glanced toward the bride, who was laughing at something her new husband had said, "the bride usually wears white. Why?"
"I think you would look very pretty in a pretty white dress is all."
She looked down at Maddox, who was also looking toward Amanda, "you think?"
"I do."
"That's very sweet of you."
"Are you still gonna call her Rollins sometimes?"
"Well," Liv hadn't really thought about it, "maybe. Why?"
"Because I know it was her last name but then the priest called her Mrs Carisi and so I figure that means she got a new last name from Uncle Sonny."
"Yes," she smiled, "when people get married sometimes they take their partner's last name."
"Are you gonna be Mrs Barba then?"
"I was thinking I would use a little hyphen like your new last name," Olivia explained, "Barba-Benson."
"Is that so you can still answer your phone and say 'Benson'?"
She was constantly surprised by Maddox's observations and questions, "well... sort of. It just made the most sense to me, I guess."
"Okay."
The song was coming to an end and Maddox looked around, "do you wanna dance to another one or do you wanna go get a drink?"
"How about we go get some water?"
He nodded and led her back to the table they were sitting at before the dancing started.
In this break, the DJ called for Rafael and Olivia to do their Best Man and Maid of Honor speeches.
They both made their way that direction.
Olivia could tell that Rafa had already had a few drinks, there was pink at the tips of his ears and a bit on his cheeks.
"You go first," he gestured for her to take the microphone and handed her the speech she'd written down, that he'd held for safe keeping.
She took the microphone and stepped to where she'd been directed, opening the paper, "hi, everybody."
Her greeting was met with a few hellos and a whistle from Fin.
"I'm here to say a few things about the bride, my good friend and colleague, Amanda Ro- Carisi?"
There was some laughs.
"When I first met Amanda I was a wreck," Liv began, "and I took it out on anybody and everybody, but that didn't stop her from trying her very best to be my friend and a good member of our team. We disagreed on how some things should work but over the past, gosh, decade or so that it's been... Amanda has proven herself time and again to not only be a capable cop, but also to be a caring and wonderful woman that I am lucky to call one of my best friends."
Amanda had a hand resting on her chest over her heart, a sign of affection she'd picked up from Olivia.
"Oftentimes when we give speeches about each other there is a lot of picking on one another or jokes, but today I want to highlight the absolute joy I've felt getting to watch my friend fall in love with the man that is now her husband," Liv continued, "it wasn't obvious at first, but over time I became more certain that the two of them were meant for each other. It was amazing to get to watch Amanda figure that out and to see her discover herself in the process."
There was a cheer from somewhere in the crowd of Carisi's family.
"I have always found Amanda to be strong, both physically and mentally... and in her stances, though occasionally that caused us to butt heads, I have admired that. I have seen her be caring and fierce and generous and kind and I believe she exactly the kind of woman who can handle Dominick Carisi Jr," she began her conclusion, "they balance each other in the most wonderful ways and are a phenomenal pairing. I am proud and honored to be here today, with all of you, to see this beautiful wedding between two people who love each other so dearly. And while I'll probably still call you Rollins around the office, I know you're going to be a great Carisi."
There was applause from around.
Sonny's family was cheering drunkenly.
Liv was glad most of the attendees were drunk or headed that way because she was certain her speech was a mess and felt awful that she wasn't as eloquent as Rafael because Amanda deserved a better speech.
"That was beautiful," Rafael reassured her, seeing her uncertain look.
"I had to scrap a bunch of it last night because I realized it was too long and never got the chance to make sure it flowed correctly," she whispered as she handed him the microphone.
"It was fine, my love," he smiled and squeezed her hand.
She stepped down from the small raised, stage area, and headed to her seat.
"I suppose that means it's my turn," Rafa said into the mic, "uh oh."
There were some laughs.
"I did not write anything down, it seems my better half was more responsible than me," he was smiling, "so I guess I'm just gonna wing it. Which isn't something I do often."
"You're always over prepared," Carisi commented dryly.
"Alright, Dominick, calm down," Rafael laughed, "let's see. Where to begin."
"Somewhere hopefully," that was Fin.
"When I met Dominick, I was positive there was no way he was a cop," Rafa began, "when he told me that he was studying to be a lawyer and asked if I would be willing to help him, mentor him perhaps? I almost wanted to laugh because that made a bit more sense. He screamed lawyer from the moment I met him. I picked on him a lot. Teasing him for going to Fordham, which, I'll admit only this once is a good school especially if you're trying to do night school."
"Boo-yah, Fordham Law," Carisi called, quoting Rafael from Olivia's office so long ago.
"Exactly," Rafael laughed, "and I won't admit this ever again, but I was proud every time he brought some law up or quoted some handbook or another because he was becoming a lawyer right before my eyes and I thought that it was pretty cool. Sometime over that mentorship, I began considering him my friend. I may have gone to the dark side to be a defense attorney but my favorite part of that is my occasional ability to go against Dominick in the courtroom because it's fun and it's a challenge now. And sometimes I can hear my influence in his style of prosecuting and that's kind of cool."
There was a small laugh from Olivia because she'd said that to him at one point.
"Now," Rafael switched which hand he was holding the microphone in, "I don't know about marrying him. I think that the new Mrs Carisi made quite a decision here. I'm kidding... In reality, I think I knew Dominick was in love with Amanda before he realized it. I knew because there was a slight shift whenever she was mentioned and his eyes lit up when he talked about her and seeing him when he was near her was like a treat. It was painful, waiting for the two of them to realize, because it was so obvious to me that they cared for each other in this way. Though, I suppose when you're in it you'll explain away every hint or possibility out of fear or whatever it may be. I'm sad that I missed the beginning of this beautiful relationship because I feel as though there's a gap in the story, like I missed a crucial part of a movie and now I'll never get to know exactly what led to where we are now. What I do know is that Dominick Carisi Jr is one of the best men I have ever met and I am grateful to have a mentee... a best friend such as him. And I'll admit, I was surprised when he asked me to be his best man, I was certain he had someone else he would want up here but I am so blessed and so honored to have been asked and to have had the ability to be a part of this part of the love story between Dominick and Amanda. Thank you, for allowing me that ability. Here's to the new Mr and Mrs."
The applause that broke as Rafael finished his speech and raised his glass was deafening.
He flipped the microphone over to turn it off and then handed it back to the DJ, wordlessly making his way back to Olivia.
"Did you have me go first so that if my speech was a wreck no one would remember?" She whispered to him.
"Nah, I wanted to hear what you said so I could steal ideas," he gave her a crooked smile.
"Now," the DJ said, "it is time for the bride and groom's first official dance."
She shook her head and sipped her wine as Rafael sat down beside her, draping an arm over her shoulder.
"You look beautiful in that blue," he said softly.
"Thank you," she smiled at him, "you look very handsome, just always."
He hadn't stopped smiling, but he gave her a small squeeze, "well thank you."
Olivia looked out toward the dancing couple, their foreheads were pressed together and she could tell they were whispering to each other.
The dance floor opened for people to join the newlyweds a moment later.
Maddox and Billie started dancing together again followed by Noah and Jesse. Aspen and Felix decided to go dance together, too.
"Dance with me?" Olivia looked at her partner.
"Of course," he grinned, "I think I like hearing you ask."
She took his hand and together they made their way onto the dance floor.
As the night wore on, Olivia found herself dancing with all of her children at least twice and the same went for Rafa. She also squeezed a dance in with Fin and one with the groom himself.
"How do you feel?" She asked Carisi.
The ADA considered, "earlier? Before the ceremony, Rafael was convinced I'd done drugs because I was so calm. I've never been so sure about anything or anyone in my life that this all feels like a formality for other people."
Rafael was dancing with Amanda across the dance floor and they could both hear her laughing at something he'd said.
Fin's phone started ringing and he made eye contact with Liv across the room as he pulled it out and answered it. There was a solemn nod and he came toward her.
"We have to go."
Carisi looked over, "case drop?"
"Unfortunately," Fin rubbed at his neck, he and Liv were probably the most sober in the building because they were the ones on call tonight since Velasco was out of town and Amanda was obviously a little busy.
"Let me grab my coat and talk to Raf and the kids."
"Will he be alright with all the kids and the girls?"
"Absolutely. As long as they still have a ride home?"
"Yeah. There's a car coming that'll have room."
"He'll be fine, they're all going to be so tired out."
Carisi nodded, "I'll make sure they all make it to the car."
"You have fun. Lucy is here still, dancing with one of your cousins over there. She won't mind helping."
Rafa had stopped drinking after the speeches, so he was slowly sobering over the last two hours or so and he looked at Liv with utter disdain as he recognized the all business walk in his direction with the kids trailing behind her.
"Fin and I have to go," she informed Rafa and Amanda.
"Call?" The blonde asked.
"Yeah, TSU," she sighed and looked at her partner, "I spoke to Lucy, she's going to help you get everyone home and in bed. Carisi said the car will be here to get you there. You'll call me if you need anything at all?"
"Okay. Please, please be safe," he kissed her.
She hugged all the children and congratulated the bride and groom once again before rushing from the hotel with Fin to his car. She had a change of clothes in his car but she just pulled her coat on over her dress for now because they'd already taken so long to depart.
YOU ARE READING
blues and greens (barson)
FanfictionWhen a little girl arrives at SVU, the team finds their worlds turned upside down. (cross posted on fanfiction.net and ao3.) this story veers from canon... as of posting i'm still early in season 22, so i'm writing beyond what i've seen and with on...