blues and greens (barson)

xix.

Barring any complications, Olivia was due to be released that Friday with a list of things they'd have to take care of to ensure she healed properly.
Rafael spent nearly every night at the hospital with her, thanks to Amanda and Sonny being willing to stay with the kids, but he went home every day to spend time with them.
They've been having the time of their lives spending so much time with Jesse and Billie, getting to play all the time.
They all knew that Liv was hurt but not the severity because as it stood, neither she or Rafa wanted them to be anxious or worried about it when it seemed like she was going to be fine.

Friday when Rafa and Carisi helped Liv through the door all the kids gathered, Jesse and Billie included, to welcome her home.
Noah seemed to realize she needed to get to a chair and helped wrangle the kids and said, "Uncle Sonny is next on trial, we gotta pick spots!"
And all the kids had run off to pick their spots in the court for the people versus Uncle Sonny.
"I'm really glad you're home, Momma," Noah said as he gave her hand a little squeeze before he too had run off.

Amanda, Carisi, and the girls continued to stay over sleeping on the various couches because Olivia had insisted they go forward with the plans for Aspen's birthday party on Sunday.
She was sticking closely to her restrictions and resting and taking it easy.
Aspen said they should have the housewarming party and her birthday party together so that was currently the plan.
This meant that Carisi had thrown himself into taking advantage of their large kitchen to cook almost all day Saturday in preparation of Sunday. He hadn't let anyone see the cake he made and insisted it remain that way until the party.

Sunday Morning

Rafael woke up and rolled over to check on Olivia.
"Good morning," he said as he brushed hair from her face gently.
"Good morning," she mumbled back.
"You feeling okay? Need your pain medication?"
"Not yet," she replied, "I feel better today than I have any other morning since this all happened. I feel like I can actually do something today."
"That's good, we've got people coming later," he said softly, "unless you want me to reschedule it."
She shook her head, "I'm ready for it."
"Liv, you were shot."
She looked at him and blinked sleepily, "Rafa, I'm okay. I'm alive and these are our friends and family. If I need to disappear to come rest for a bit, none of them will give me any shit."
"If you're certain," Rafael said softly, "I just don't want you to overexert yourself."
"I promise if I get overwhelmed or I'm in pain or anything of the sort, I will come lay down for a while."
He traced his fingers lightly over her cheekbone, "we haven't really had a chance to talk."
"I know, I'm sorry for sleeping all day yesterday."
"You don't have to apologize, my love."
There was a soft knock on the bedroom door.
"Come in," Rafa called.
The door opened and then Amanda appeared by the couch on that side of the room, "I'm so sorry to interrupt. I was just peeking in to make sure it's still okay that I take Aspen to get her nails done and to get a pretty new outfit with Jesse and Billie before the party?"
Olivia nodded, "I'll send you some money."
"Sonny and the boys are already downstairs whispering about all the decorations they're going to put up when we're gone while they make breakfast."
"She's not up yet, right?" Liv sat up.
Amanda shook her head, "everyone is creeping around as quietly as they can so no one wakes her before breakfast."
"We'll be down in fifteen minutes?" Liv looked at Rafa.
He nodded, "thanks, Amanda. I lost track of time."
Amanda gave him an apologetic look, "sorry to interrupt."
He shook his head, "it's totally fine. We were just chatting."
The blonde pointed toward the door and headed back out quietly, closing the door behind her.
Rafael uncovered and got up, moving around the bed to help Liv up.
"Thanks, Raf," she whispered.
"You contacted Dr Lindstrom about an appointment, right?"
She nodded and gave him a small smile as he helped her to the bathroom.
"Good," he pressed a kiss to her temple as he let her go.
She leaned on things and started getting ready.
"We'll talk tonight?" He asked as he was looking for the shirt he had in mind for the day of celebration.
"Is there anything specific you want to know now?" She asked as she looked over at him holding her toothbrush and raising an eyebrow.
He paused in his looking and crouched down, "it's kind of a, uh, couple heavy questions."
"I'm okay, if you want to ask."
He sat all the way down onto the floor and turned, pulling a box so he could look at her as he dug through, "why were you so upset that the girl who did this-"
Liv didn't let him finish, "she was distraught, Raf. Something horrific had clearly happened to her. I wanted to help her. She needed help... and whoever did that to her and pushed her to that point... is a monster. She was lashing out. I know people died because of it, but if someone had helped her before it got to that point..."
"You think she went to a precinct and they didn't call SVU."
"I do. The way the officers on that roof wouldn't approach, there was something that happened before I got there. Her reactions, the look in her eyes. I think there's a lot more to the story."
Rafael nodded as he found the lavender button down t-shirt he'd been digging for.
"What was your other question?" She asked as she leaned against the doorjamb.
He looked up at her, she was wearing one of his old Harvard hoodies, it made his heart pound. He loved it when she wore his clothes. Her legs were bare and he could see the stitches in her thigh. He felt a bit less sympathy for the girl but he also understood what Liv was saying.
"Rafa? Staring again."
"Sorry," he mumbled, pulling his eyes away.
"You know I'm teasing you when I say that, right?"
He looked at her again.
"I don't know," she looked at the floor, "it makes me feel kinda special."
"You are," he said without hesitation, "and absolutely stunning."
She rolled her eyes.
He pushed himself off the floor, approaching her slowly, "you're fucking beautiful, Olivia Benson."
"Thank you, Rafael," she said softly.
He kissed her carefully, "okay. The other question is heavier."
They swapped spots, he got dressed in the bathroom and got to work on his hair.
"Go on," she said as she flipped through some of her clothes.
There was a long pause.
She glanced toward him, he was staring at he counter in front of him.
"Raf?"
He looked over, "I'm afraid to ask."
She limped toward him, using the wall for support when she felt she needed it, "it's okay, I'm okay."
"It's more... personal, so if you don't want to answer, you don't have to."
"Go on."
"Did... did you have any dreams or anything like that?"
"Like did my life flash before my eyes?"
He shook his head and then paused and shrugged, "maybe?"
"No... my life didn't flash before my eyes," she said softly as she turned to go back and look for what she wanted to wear.
"I'm sorry if that's too much of a heavy question."
She shook her head, "I just don't want to take too long, if you don't mind me digging through clothes while I talk?"
"That's fine."
"Okay," she took a deep breath as she started getting dressed, "I should start with the last things I remember on the rooftop..."
"Wherever you want," he was brushing his teeth.
"Physically it was white hot pain in my abdomen, not that you want to know that."
His jaw worked in a way, "I want to know all of it."
"I remember Fin appearing above me and him yelling to hold on. White spots in my vision, telling him to make sure he talked to you before you saw it online or on the news. I knew you were in court but I was worried you'd have a recess and see it," she said.
"You were shot and you were more worried about how I'd find out?" He rushed over to help her with her shirt.
She let out a breathy laugh, "I guess so," she was momentarily distracted by how close he was and how handsome he looked in the simple button down.
"This color is beautiful on you," he whispered, playing with the bottom of the loose light blue-green shirt she'd just pulled on.
"Thank you, you look very handsome," she leaned and kissed him before shuffling out to the chairs in the corner of the room.
He followed and sat in the other one.
"In unconsciousness, I found myself with you," she whispered, not looking at him, "here."
"Here?"
"In our bed," she gestured, "just talking."
"What about?"
"Getting married," she admitted as she slid the flats she wore as slippers on.
Rafa was quiet.
"We were talking about getting married," she repeated, staring at the floor in front of her, "once they introduced the pain medication for surgery... it shifted. At least I think that's what it was that made it shift... we were at a beach somewhere, us and the kids. They were a bit older, building sandcastles while you and I sat on a blanket and just enjoyed the sun. Your hair was a bit more silver than it is now."
He looked over at her.
"My silver fox," she laughed softly.
He rolled his eyes a bit, "was that it?"
She shook her head, "there was more, but we can talk about it later. It was just lots of little dreams of the future or future possibilities, I guess. There is one last thing I want to tell you about before we head downstairs, though."
He nodded, a small smile on his face.
"When I woke up and you were the first person I saw, the lights in the room and the blurry my eyes were," she started, "I looked at you and was absolutely certain I was seeing an angel."
"Is that why you called me beautiful?"
"I think you're beautiful anyway, but yes," she smiled, "and sometimes... sometimes I think you may actually be an angel, sent to me when I needed you most."
He tilted his head.
"I was in such a weird and stressful time, Stabler left... Cragen and Munch retiring... I'm the only remaining member of my original team... moving up the ranks. You supported me through so many things. You were by my side."
He looked at her with a soft look on his face, "and I'll stay here beside you as long as you want me to, my love."
She gave a small smile and looked at her phone, "our fifteen minutes are up, let's go."