Hearts on Hire (Completed)

Crying In Solitude

Gulf stormed inside his apartment and threw the first thing he saw which was a flower vase, shattering it to pieces. Next were few books, showpiece and few glasses. The living room looked like a mess and so did Gulf. Last 3 months had been so taxing on him physically and emotionally. The business trip was a complete disaster. He hardly had time to sleep or even eat. He had missed quite few meals to cover the problems at hand.

One of his vice or virtue,depending on how you take it is that he was a workaholic. If he's working on something it has to be perfect. He's sort of perfectionist so at times he would forgo sleep and meals to focus on work until it's finished.
They kept running into one problem after another. The deal almost fell through which would have resulted into loss of millions.

In middle of all this he didn't have time to talk with Mew and at times they did talk they ended up fighting which was the last thing he needed at that moment. That dating scandal had been at the worst moment and he had almost ended up beating the reporter but Pha stopped him at the last moment. He did break the reporter's camera which led to him writing exaggerated article which wasn't true at all.

He knew he should have called Mew and explained everything but there wasn't time for all of that. The reporter ended up suing him so he had to go and settle that which made him lose one of his client. There were even rumors about him abusing his power and authority to control media. During one of his company event, one of the sponsor backed away and they had cancel the gifts accompaniment for special recipients which led to lot of backlash on their company's image.

Worst of all Jessica had been getting on his nerves. He had told her in not so polite terms that he wasn't interested but she wouldn't just take the hint. She continued proportioning him so he ended up having a shouting match with her in one of the parties which made him look like a complete jerk and people love gossiping so without even knowing what was it all about people were already talking about him in negative light.

On top of all that he didn't have time to explain all of this to Mew. They did text each other few times but Gulf didn't think he could explain all of this over phone. He decided he will tell Mew everything when he went back so that there won't be any misunderstanding between them. He would hate for Mew to take all of this in wrong way. He knew it must be hard on Mew as well but right now he needed to handle his business first. He was missing Mew so much, being away from him was hard but the work was important too. He had already planned the trip they would take after he was done with this deal. Mew's semester exams would be over too so both of them would get much needed time together.

Things hit him hard when he saw Mew's instagram posts. At first he didn't check them because he hardly had time for that. But Mew posted almost 10 pics a day and he would tag Gulf in all of them. When Gulf went through the posts, he was gobsmacked. He remembered Kale, one of Mew's friend. The guy Mew had forgotten their anniversary for. He didn't think of it much at that time but now everything seemed different.

Why was Mew being so friendly with him? Off was Mew's best friend yet even with him, Mew never posted such pics. He was out with Kale almost daily, which would have been okay if not for the captions. He tried to chalk it all up to Mew being alone. He must be missing Gulf so he's out with his friend to have fun. Perfectly fine. Gulf wasn't controlling person, he wasn't interested in knowing what Mew was doing every second or who he was out with as long as he was safe and happy.

But even though Gulf was an adult who had his own company and lots of people working under, at times he got insecure too. He didn't doubt Mew's love for him, because he could see how much Mew cared about him but Mew was so young compared to him, maybe he would want to explore more when it came to relationship. Gulf was at the age to start thinking of marriage and he would absolutely love to marry Mew but for Mew it would be too fast, he's still in college. Would Mew even want to marry him?

Gulf's parents would be happy with whomever he ended up with and his mother was elated to know he was in real relationship with Mew. He had to tell her about all fake relationship thing. Gulf had no problem with waiting for Mew. He could wait years until Mew was ready to make such commitment. But if there wasn't ever assurance of such thing happening, could he keep waiting?

He almost texted Mew demanding answers for such posts but refrained himself at last moment. No use fighting over phone. His trip was almost over. He would tackle this issue when he met Mew. Maybe he's just overreacting and Mew has perfect explanation for all this. But he tipped over edge when he opened Kale's profile which was public. He had posted same pics and a lot more of Mew's, captioning them as soulmate or crush. The guy was head over heels in love with Mew.

It was a last straw when he saw couple rings both of them were wearing in one of the pics. Was Mew cheating on him? Was this his way of taking revenge? How could he do this? There was no way Mew didn't know his friend liked him so does that mean he liked Kale back? He would admit past 3 months had been hard on their relationship but that doesn't mean Mew could flirt with someone else just because of that.

The anger clouding his mind made him act insensitively with Mew when he got back to Thailand and fathomed Mew was at club with Kale from his post. When he saw Mew looking absolutely beautiful for a second past 3 months completely vanished but when he saw he was looking at Kale, he felt jealousy burn within him. He kissed Mew roughly not letting him complete his sentence.

In the back of his mind he knew it was wrong when he dragged Mew to the restroom. He wasn't planning on having sex there, he wouldn't disrespect Mew like that. He just wanted to let Mew know how angry he was with him. Even when he touched Mew down there, he had no intention of topping Mew. That sort of thing needed careful discussion. You couldn't do it on whim and he knew Mew was top so he wouldn't be into being a bottom not yet anyway and he wasn't interested in that either.

But that broken whisper asking him to stop, tears streaming down his face, terrified eyes looking at him, it was enough for him to know that he had messed up terribly. No amount of apology was going to mend this. Mew was scared of him. HIM. His own boyfriend. What could be worse than that? The boy he had vowed to protect from everything was sobbing hysterically because of him. Jealousy was no excuse here. There were number of ways he could have handled this without hurting his love.

That's why here he was taking out his anger on inanimate objects. How would he ever face Kit and Sarawat after having been a jerk to Mew? How could he ever face Mew? He would never forgive Gulf, would he? Even if he did, would it be okay? Did he deserve to be forgiven? All of this may not have happened had he taken time to explain it to Mew why was he so busy. Had he given Mew a little of his time or tried to smooth over their fight or explained about Jessica, maybe they wouldn't be at this point.

Would Mew ever look at him with love in his eyes? Why did he even kiss Mew like that when they should have been sitting down and talking about their problems? And dragging him to restroom was such a cheap move and yet he did it without any hesitation. Self hatred was all he could feel right now, maybe that's why he didn't feel the glass cutting into his skin as he went on smashing stuff. Physical intimacy can't solve things unless there's emotional intimacy.