The Probability Of Not Loving You

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Being covered up in Alex's jacket sent Ava back to the times where he enveloped her and there was no telling where he began and where she ended. His innocent gesture to keep her warm had thrown Ava off her axis, not that she had it together where Alex was concerned.

Ava fell silent afraid to speak and her voice come out weak. Nothing could have been worse than him knowing that she still longed for him. Ava accepted their fate long ago, was it her fault that her body was yet to know the difference between Alex being her friend and her lover? God only knew she tried her best to not doing anything to ruin their new equilibrium.

His scent covered her up that she knew she would be dreaming of it for weeks to come. It had a hint of what she could only call Alex and something a little masculine and spicy. The past couple of weeks she thought she and Christian were settled but Alex had just reminded her that she would never forgot him. Just his smell had reminded her of long nights in his arms and tender kisses as though she could still taste him.

Ava trembled.

Alex's eyes went to her and then moved behind her without much thought, rubbing her forearms in his jacket. "The car will be here soon."

His presence behind her didn't make things better. Ava stopped breathing. His large body easily covered up hers. When they younger, they weren't that much different in size. Sure, he was taller but now everything about him was bigger. Alex pulled her slack against his chest and hugged her to tight. That hadn't helped things either, showing that he could easily engulf her.

Ava stood there with her arms at her side, trying and failing at not enjoying his touch. Every single part of her yearned to turn around and have him completely take over  her body. After all this years, she wanted to give total control and let him drive them both.

Stupid, Ava! Stop! Why can't you stop? If only the scolding worked, she would have been free of him by now. Was it completely unreasonable to ask him to get married before her own wedding date? Could she get married him with him there? Perhaps asking Alex to be her best man was a mistake— a world shuttering and wedding stopping mistake.

"Babe," Alex said softly from behind her, so close to her ear. "Wouldn't it be better if you waited inside? I'll call you when the car is here."

Ava shuddered once again. His voice was much huskier now. Everything about Alexander Evans seemed far more sexier when she compared him to his younger self. She had no chance of not falling him when they sixteen and somehow the gods made everything about him mouthwatering. How was this guy single? The women around him had to be blind but Ava knew Alex. He had a way of being oblivious which was really annoying. Was he still as oblivious? Thank god he worked too much or she didn't know how she could handle supporting his relationship as he had hers. Why couldn't she not care just like him? Why had the gods made her love someone she couldn't live without? Would it have been easier if he was someone else?

"Ava?" Alex turned her around. His brows were raised as he looked into her eyes. "Are you okay?"

Ava looked back into the face that she had loved so much. His eyes were open and filled with concern for her. She willed herself to not look anywhere else other than his eyes. If she lowered her eyes, she may have asked him to kiss. One last one for the road?

Ava nodded. She had no strength to answer him even though she knew that it would raise alarm bells with him. Luckily, the car arrived not long after. He opened the door and she slid to the far end of the seat. He sat beside her with some much needed distance between them. Maybe he could tell that something was off with her, Alex was usually so good at reading all her emotions.