5pm in Berlin. Sitted in my balcony. It was by far my favourite part of my apartment. It was a place to let romance into the soul as the world passed by on the city street..
I had lots of paper work to finish but I wasn't able to concentrate as my eyes were steady to the horizon, face aglow with the sunset rays. It was more than beautiful to ignore.
Though it echoed with a golden light into my soul...trust me I never felt so broken like that day. I went back to where it happened. I wanted to take away the power of the painful memory for hurt, prove to myself that I could choose to move on but now that my brain has gone back there,can't help but feel so devastated.
I wish they were here.
My grandpa,
Grandma,
Dad,
Mum,
I miss them.........
It's been 4 years since they were killed in the Caribbean war. I left those memories on the shelf and just let them gather dust but this day I couldn't help but recall everything. It's a nightmare or I'd say more like a book with chapters,deep and horrible. I felt as though it just happened the other day.
I couldn't stop asking myself why their precious lives were taken. They did nothing wrong or harmed anyone. And those that took their lives are walking freely as if they did nothing wrong.
How I wish they knew the pain they've caused me and many people out there who lost their beloved ones in that war.
Turning back to my house,seeing how big and empty it is and most horrifying how silent the walls were.
Tears dropped down.
"If only they were right here with me " I cried
Because the rooms couldn't have been this empty,it could've been filled with their voices. I felt so alone not just in my apartment but literally in the whole world.
Old scars are better left alone because this feeling is a vice on my heart, squeezing with just enough pressure to be a constant pain. It was killing me bit by bit taking my inner light and replacing it with a darkness that overshadows each moment.
If everyone was kind and loving to each other today I wouldn't be feeling this sad. Emotional indifference always leads to bad places . I wish everyone will just shift their idea of what war is, because it shifts how we relate to freedom and peace .
On this day ......
I pray for peace.
I pray for understanding.
I pray for love and kindness.
I pray that no one will ever go through what am feeling
And
In the moment we will see the simple flaws in our thinking am sure that's when we will be able to solve war.
................
Thank you so much for reading
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