Who Knew

22

I examined myself in the mirror at school. I appeared to look alright on the outside. But on the inside, I felt weak, hurt, and just stupid. My emotions were all over the place since the previous day I was angry one minute, sad the next, and then worried. I believed that I can be strong and get over it. Every time I think about how Ranea kissed Devin on the lips, I became weak. I got a sick feeling. I started to remember the day over his house. How he was with me. So gentle and generous with me. So respectful when I told him how inexperienced I was. It went from that to now doing the same with Ranea only to mess with my mind. He wanted me to be appreciative of him, yet all he managed to do was push me away. I want him away from me and my best friend. That's for sure.

I picked up my purse and folder, so that I can get to class even if I didn't feel like going. 

At lunch, I would keep my head up high. I can't be acting emotional. I didn't need Ranea and especially Devin to see me crying. It took me off guard that Ranea would think I was lying. Then to find out they were together made it worse.

It had been said that they had made their relationship official. At least that's what I heard in first period. Ranea and Devin walked straight in the school holding hands letting everyone know they were together. Tears did build up in my eyes a little. I was able to keep them in. It was not good to be crying over some guy who was now humiliating me and making me feel like nothing so that I would come and beg for him. That was not happening.

I saw them sitting at the usual table. Devin was close to her. Ranea was all smiles and laughs with him. She constantly touched him. He didn't mind at all. I needed to remember what I had been told.

I cleared my throat to get their attention. Ranea stopped her giggling. She gave me a blank face when I sat down with them. I didn't bother to look at Devin cause I already knew he liked what he was creating.

"So your mad at me now?" I asked.

She drank some of her juice before she answered. "We need to talk about your issues in private."

Ranea needed to understand that all my issues were because of the guy that's sitting beside her pretending like he liked her and was interested in her.

"Ranea." I pointed at Devin but still avoided contact. "He is causing problems. Can't you see that."

"Miesha if you want to be at this table accusing me of things, I think you need to sit at another table," Devin inputted.

"He's right. It's best that you sit somewhere until we talk," Ranea agreed.

I finally looked at Devin who was wiggling his eyebrows at me. Then back to Ranea with her serious face on.

"So you're banning me from sitting here?"

"Yeah you are my best friend. I don't appreciate you acting like this. When I am ready to talk, I will call you. But for now I don't want to."

I nodded my head. "Okay. I see. Fine whatever. You don't want me here. I'm leaving."   

I grabbed my tray and left. Not hungry anymore, I threw it away and sat at some random table putting my hands in head letting out a frustrated sigh.

I sat there feeling alone. I didn't have anyone. Glancing across the room to see Devin and Ranea so comfortable with each other didn't make anything better.