Who Knew

27

As more time passed, I grew more depressed. Ranea and I's friendship was over. At least it seemed like it to me. I left her alone. She said nothing to me after I visited her home. Naiya may have fed her with lies too. That was all she seemed to want to hear nowadays. I didn't want to do that to her because I actually care about her.

"This is ridiculous," Malesha blurted out in class one day.

"What?" I aksed.

"You two," she pointed between Antonio and I.

"I don't get it."

The moods. You two are so down that it's rubbing off on me." She dramatically swiped at her arms as if trying to get the feeling off her.

Malesha was right though. I hardly talked to her in class that day. A part of my life was empty. I was grateful for Malesha and meeting her other friends, but I only met them one time. Outside of theater, I was lonely. No meet ups in the morning. None after school. Then, there was nowhere for me to sit at lunch. I ate lunch with a different group of people everyday. Somedays I sat out in the courtyard when I couldn't find a seat in the cafeteria.

I'm fine," I lied.

Malesha pushed me to explain to her what was going on. She mentioned the day she found me crying in the bathroom over what happened between Ranea and Devin. That was a huge part. There were other parts too. The fact that it has been weeks and Antonio hardly said a word to besides a greeting affected me. With Melina taking a dislike toward me, I thought about if her others friends with grow to hate me. It seemed like no one liked me at the moment.

"No you are not Miesha. At least I know what is going on with Antonio. But with you, I have no idea. It's all a mystery. We are friends now. You can talk to me."

As much I wanted to, I couldn't. I refused to tell her my problems. She was the only person I can actually confide. But my situation was too messy.

I can't. It's too much," I told her.

"Fine. I will understand for now. But to keep your mind occupied from your troubles," She pulled out a folded piece of paper from her purse, "this should be fun."

I opened it to see that it was a flyer for an arcade that just opened. I remembered when they were advertising it at the end of last year. From the hype it was getting, Ranea and I agreed to go there.

"What do you say? Do you want to go? I heard that's it the best arcade in the city. This should help you feel better."

I glanced at the piece of paper again. I needed some fun. I hadn't had any since I went bowling.

"I'll go," I told her.

Malesha glanced over at Antonio waiting on his response. "I'm in."

"Great," She put her arms around us and sqeezed our heads together, "this is going to be fun. I'm going to call everyone else and invite them too."

At home, my dad's behavior changed. He acted sad. He cooked less than usual. I suspected that it was all Jasmine. He hadn't went on a date with her. The repulsion that I already had for her strengthened. My dad valued his relationship with her. If she hurt him, her and I would clash the next time I see her. I had no problem putting her in her place. There was a risk of getting in trouble, but it bothered me to see my dad moping around the house.

"Are you going to break up with her?" I asked him one day.

"No."

"Why not? Isn't she hurting you?"

"Just because we aren't in a good place right now doesn't equate to leaving her. I know you don't understand relationships, but everything isn't always going to go right."

No explanation needed about that. I understood that. Every relationship had its up and down, but I didn't care about their relationship. She showed me enough to know that they aren't meant to be together. I cared about my dad's happiness. She brought him none. From what I observed in movies, love was not supposed to be like this. Jasmine's bad qualities outweighed her good ones. Her competing against me, being happy about having my dad's money, and failing to show up to the Spring Musical provided me with enough information.

"I guess," I said deciding to keep my thoughts to myself.

One day, I used the TV in the living room to watch some movies, and the door bell rang. When I answered answered, Jasmine was there on the porch. She slicked her hair back in a ponytail and wore one of her sparkly dresses with a full face of makeup. I looked her up and down pondering over what her objective was.

"Did my dad give you money to buy that dress too?"

She looked beyond me. "Where is Darrin?"

"Why do you care?"

"Little girl. I don't answer to children. Now where is he?" She demanded.

I leaned on the door frame. "Well you will have to learn today. You have no choice but to answer to me. If you want to come through the threshold of this door, I highly suggest you cooperate."

"Excuse me?"

"No excuse me." I closed the door in her face.

She constantly pressed the doorbell. I pretended not to hear it by inserting music in my ears. My dad came out his room. He pointed at the door.

"Someone is at the door," he said.

"Oh it's no one important," I told him.

He answered the door. Before he said anything to her, Jasmine barged into our home unwelcomed.

"That's it Darrin. I need this child disciplined right now. She has no home training."

"Do you always walk into people's homes uninvited. If so, then I think you're the one who needs home training."

"See this is what I mean. I refuse to keep having your child disrespecting me like I'm not an adult."

Jasmine broke out in tears. She sat down on the couch and covered her face. My dad rushed to her side and rubbed her shoulders. He whispered to her that he would handle it. Before I could say anything, I left the room. Once again, I witnessed another woman trick my dad. He was blinded by it again. It was getting old watching this same pattern of foolishness. This couldn't be love for sure. I assumed that it was acceptance. I knew it had to be when I heard Jasmine screaming about me downstairs. He kept his voice even. That was how it was with these women. All my dad was to them was a broken man whose baby mama left him and stuck him with a bad mouth daughter. I heard enough women say that. However, my dad desired acceptance so badly that he fell victim to these trifling women every time.

He comforted her for hours. I distracted my mind by listening to my music. Then, out of nowhere, my dad yelled at me to come downstairs only to scold me about how I treated Jasmine. He forced me to apologize to her. She held a satisfied expression on her and added her own words that she had for me. The violence trapped inside of me told me to knock that smile right off her face. However, the glare my dad sent my way made me give up. There was no use in this anymore. I couldn't control what was happening. I was done for good. I clearly had no idea what I was doing. It was time that to let my dad be him.