Perrie
My eyes opened, and I just laid there staring at the ceiling. Today is the day. Not the day we get results, but the day we go see Jessica and her baby. The day we get the DNA sample from the baby, and send it with Jade's to the lab.
Truth be told, I'm scared. I don't want this. I don't want it to be true. I don't want to even think of the way something like this could alter our happy little life. We were doing great together. Just the three of us.
I sighed and turned onto my side, not expecting Her to be awake yet, but when I looked, I could see her eyes on the ceiling. They were red, and I could see tear stains on her cheek. The sight twisted my heart up in knots.
I knew she had to be scared too, and I knew it was partially my fault for not giving her the reassurance she needed right away. I was about to move closer to her, but before I could, she pulled the covers back and got up, quickly making her way to the bathroom and closing the door behind her.
I sighed again. It hurt to see her so... so off. She wasn't herself. She hasn't been since she found out that day, and like I said, I haven't made it any better. It just hurts. I'm trying now, but it still hurts to imagine.
Either way, I knew she was in there crying again, and I couldn't let her feel alone another day. I pulled the covers off myself and walked over to the bathroom door. I put my hand on the knob and tried to twist it, but it was locked. I figured it would be.
"Jade?" I called softly, leaning against the door as I knocked lightly. No response. "Baby, open the door please." She still didn't say anything, but I could hear sniffles on the other side. "Can you let me in?"
"I—" She started, but then stopped talking.
"I know you're crying. Don't hide from me, please." I said softly. "I'm here. I know it didn't feel like it at first, and I'm really sorry. Let me be here now. Please?"
There was another pause, then I heard the door unlock. The knob twisted, and she slowly opened the door. My eyes landed on her teary brown ones.
"Sorry." She said, opening the door the rest of the way and stepping aside to let me inside.
"What's wrong?" I asked, stepping in cautiously.
She walked back to the sink and turned on the cold water, bending down to wash her face. She stood upright, looked at herself in the mirror, and sighed.
"I don't know." She said quietly, putting both hands on the sink and leaning on it. "I just feel bad."
"Is it okay if I hold you?" I asked, and she looked at her reflection again and nodded. I walked up and wrapped my arms around her from behind, lacing my fingers together over her stomach and putting my chin on her shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, looking at her eyes in the mirror.
"I don't know how." She sighed.
"We have to try harder now, remember? You said that to me." I said softly.
"I'm just sorry that this is happening." She said, her voice cracking a little. "True or not, I'm sorry that there is even a possibility, and that you have to feel the way you do. I never meant to hurt you, or let you down like this. I swear to you, I thought you weren't coming back. I thought I'd never see you again. And I especially never wanted to be with her again. She showed up when I was wasted and hurt and I just wanted to forget everything..."
I hugged her a little tighter. "How I'm feeling right now is not your fault. Part of me feels like I don't even have a right to feel any way about it, because like you said we weren't even together when it happened. I did leave you, and I'm so sorry."
