Jade
"Perrie, wake up. We need to talk." I said, standing next to the bed where Perrie was sleeping like she was dead.
I'd already gotten the kids up, bathed, fed, to school, so it was just us here. I tapped her again.
"What? What's wrong?" She groaned with her face in the pillow.
"Get up. We need to talk. It's serious." I said, and she groaned again, but rolled over.
"What is it?" She asked, laying on her back and rubbing her eyes. "What's so serious?"
"I think you might be pregnant." I said, and it took her a few seconds to register what I said. She stopped rubbing her eyes and cut them at me.
"What?" She said.
"Listen... the last time we had sex... I didn't use protection, and I didn't pull out." I said quietly. "And I remember you telling me you were off birth control. So, there's a very strong possibility..."
"This has to be a dream." She said, rubbing her eyes more. "Jade... WHAT? Did you just wake me up to tell me something I know?!"
"I just want to be sure." I sighed.
"And first of all, when have you ever—ugh! What?!" She asked again, sitting up.
"Here." I said, holding out a plastic bag to her.
"Jade, what is this?" She asked, snatching the bag from me. I already knew she'd be grumpy. She's definitely not a fan of being woken up.
"I went to the store. It's a pregnancy test... so we can know for sure." I said, scratching my head.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "So we can know what for sure, Jade?"
"If we're pregnant or not." I said.
"Do you not see this?!" She asked, lifting my t-shirt that she was wearing and pointing to a very small bump. It was the cutest thing. "Did you just think I ate too much?! Did you think I was just getting fat?!"
"Nope..." I said, shaking my head. "I'm not touching that. That's a trap, and I'm not walking into it."
"I have to still be asleep. There's no way any of this is happening." She said, slowly rubbing her temples.
"Can you just get up and take the test?" I asked.
"Jade, we were just at an ultrasound appointment... we heard the heartbeat... there's a picture in your wallet!" She said frustratedly.
"Just do it, please. It will put me at ease to know for sure." I said. "I know you already have to pee... just pop a stick right there."
"I'm about to 'pop a stick' upside your head!" She groaned, and I had to fight not to laugh.
"Please?" I asked again, and she groaned even louder, but got up and snatched the bag. "Thank you."
"And when it says I'm pregnant like WE BOTH KNOW ALREADY?! Then what?!" She asked.
"I'll act accordingly when I know for sure." I simply said.
"Did you hit your head or something? Do you have amnesia? Where are the other kids? Do they exist to you right now?" She asked. "Who am I to you?"
It was getting harder and harder not to laugh at her frustration, but I knew she'd probably rip me a new one.
"Can you please just do it?" I sighed. She sighed too and stomped into the bathroom, grumbling the whole way. I smiled and sat down on the bed as I waited. "Don't come out until you get the results! I'm nervous!"
