She drank the moonlight and worshipped the shining stars scattered through the darkness. She felt more insignificant and pointless and useless the longer she longingly observed.
Each time her eyes closed, everything she buried and sank in the lake started to slowly trickle into her mind once more. Purposefully forgotten memories seeped to the surface as she slept slowly. A flying hand, a twisting chair, shattered glass, papers flying.
But the worst was the sound. The yelling and screaming and swearing and anger. And she couldn't make it stop, wouldn't make it stop, because it was her fault.
Sometimes she felt okay. Her thoughts quit their raucous noise, her heartbeat relaxed, her body felt light and free.
Only for mere moments though. Only until her thoughts resumed, her heartbeat quickened, her body filled with lead and immobilized her.
She would feel like the weight upon her was that of a city while simultaneously lighter than a speck of dust. Her mind would float in the clouds but at the same moment sink deeper into the depths of the lake in her mind.
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Novela Juveniltw: depression and suicidal thoughts as well as self harm behaviors a story about a girl who slowly loses herself
