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The Edge.

Yesterday I stepped off the edge, well i don't know if I stepped off, jumped off or fell off I just suddenly felt myself falling.
I'm now in a deep dark place that I never knew existed, I've looked around and all I can see is darkness, all I can hear are far away voices, but yet I don't find myself looking for a way out.

I'd rather just sit here in the dark with my head hanging low staring at a dark dirty floor. I can't feel any emotions running through me, I'm just empty all I can do is stare at nothing. I can't cry, I can't smile, I can't scream, shout or yell, i don't hear any sounds but I feel the wetness on my cheeks.

This dark room I am in looks the same size as a place I was in before, but that place is the polar opposite, that place was filled with voices that were crystal clear, photos of smiling people, a big beautiful bay window that looked out onto the beautiful world outside. But most importantly that room had a door, a door that you could come and go from, a door where you could visit that beautiful place outside and explore all it has to offer and a door that would let you come back inside to a happy safe place.

This place doesn't have that, there are no voices, no photos, no window to the outside world, just four dark damp walls and no door!

I'm lost but I don't feel scared, I don't feel angry, I don't feel lonely or afraid....I don't feel anything and I'm not sure how I'm going to get out of here or if I'm ready to start trying, the only thing I do know is how to pretend, how to play the game, the game I have to play to eventually get back to the window, to get back to the outside world......to get back to the door!

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