Things We Said Today

Chapter Two

I let my eyes lose focus as I stared up at the ceiling, so it appeared like I was floating in a fuzzy white void. I imagined that void opening up and swallowing me whole, leaving me to drift in nothingness for the rest of eternity. The vision was certainly more peaceful than the grotesque images my brain had been lovingly bestowing upon me since leaving Finnegans the night prior.

I had done well as of late, in my quest to forget about senior year... and about him. Now that he had returned, it was all I could fucking think about. Every lull in conversation, every moment of silence was occupied entirely by his smug ass face and the accompanying hot rage in my gut.

My brain swept away the white void and started replaying our first conversation, during the end of our first day of freshman year English class.

"So, I reckon your parents are obsessed with the Beatles as well?" He asked, jogging to catch up with me as I made my way out of the Humanities Building.

"Just a bit." I smiled at him, and he returned the gesture with a lopsided grin.

"Lucy is certainly a better name than Jude, though. Kids used to call me Judy in high school. Very original," his voice dropped an octave and became laced with sarcasm before he continued in his usual tone, "but equally humiliating."

I had laughed at that, "I don't know... I like Jude. You don't meet too many Judes, at least not around here."

His face lit up, "Thanks Luce." The slightly shortened version of my name made me smile unexpectedly. No one had ever called me that before. "So, what's your major?"

"English-Lit." I responded.

"Useless degree, you know."

I elbowed him in the arm, "That's not entirely true."

He chuckled, "Oh it is. Don't worry, it's my major too."

I stifled a gag as I tried to push away the memory. I had liked Jude at one point. I had liked him a lot. We were friends— close friends at that— for nearly four years before the incident. Perhaps that's why it had hurt so terribly. Perhaps that's why I still held a grudge. I had trusted him, and he had gone and ruined my fucking life.

"Lucy, you in there?" Evie called out from the hallway.

"Unfortunately." I called back.

The door creaked open, and Evie let out a labored breath, "You seriously need to tidy your room. How do you get anything done in here when it looks like this?"

"I don't get anything done in here." I retorted, deadpan.

"Okay, despite what you might think I didn't come in here to lecture you about the state of your bedroom." I listened as she tried to maneuver a pathway to my bed, my eyes were still glued to the white void of a ceiling. "I just wanted to check on you, since the whole... well, you know."

I turned my head toward where she was now perched at the edge of my bed, her legs gracefully crossed like she was awaiting high tea. "I'm fantastic." I muttered.

"Lucy." She sighed, elongating my name like a mother exhausted with her overdramatic teen, "I know that what happened with Jude really hurt you, but don't you think... at this point... we could all be grown-ups about it?"

I sat up at that, my heart pounding in my head in response to her condescending tone, "He didn't just rip up my favorite skirt or pull my hair, Eva!"

"Don't call me that." She interrupted, pointing at me with one perfectly manicured finger.