(ONE SHOT) MILEVEN//FILLIE ♥

Mike's monologue (4 season V2)

Mike (POV)

I can't believe Suzie actually managed to find NINA's location, I have no idea what it is, all that matters is that it will lead us to Eleven.

We've been in this truck for so many hours that I can't feel my butt anymore, thankfully the pain in my chest is strong enough to distract me from any discomfort.

That feeling of emptiness that extends to my stomach is suffocating... it's the fear, it's the guilt... I should be with her, if only I had said the words... If only I had said how I really feel about her...if only I had said that I...

Shit, I'm used to getting in trouble for things I say, but I've never been in trouble for something I didn't say.

Three words, three words were strong enough to drive us away again, now she's at risk and I'm terrified I won't get there fast enough to help her.

"Brochachos... I don't know if I'm completely drugged or is that a door in the middle of the desert?"

Argyle's voice brings me back to reality, a large structure appears in the distance and the look on Jonathan and Will's faces tells me that they are thinking the same thing as me...we have arrived

God...please let her be here.

Eleven (POV)

I've been sitting quietly for the last hour...Papa and Owens have sat next to me letting me process everything, waiting patiently. all this its...it's too much.

I was finally able to remember everything and I understand why I had forgotten...everything was so horrible and it explains that great feeling of guilt that I have carried with me all these years, all my life believing that I was a monster, a murderer... but I am innocent, at least in most things, even so I am to blame for creating that portal, I am still to blame that our world and the upside down are now connected.

"Eleven...now you have nothing to hold you back...you have remembered the origin of your strength, you have returned to the moment when your powers reached their maximum potential, now you know where your strength comes from, it is within you...search in your anger, in all those memories that make you angry, remember that helplessness and they will come back to you"

Maybe he was right, I could almost feel the power running through my veins, as if they were there, asleep, but alert, waiting for me to be ready to use them, to call them...

It seemed that finally the objective of this trip had been fulfilled but even so... I felt so empty, I was so tired of feeling fear and anger, my instincts told me that I had to prepare myself for the fight, but my soul was unmotivated, I needed something... rather...I needed someone.

Mike...Why it seemed like life was trying to keep us apart?

Maybe that's why he's tired...I mean, who would want so much trouble in their life? Maybe the reason for our last argument was that...he doesn't love me because he's tired of everything being so complicated.

Everything is complicated with me... I don't blame him if he decides to get away, I don't blame him if he never wants to see me again, I only complicate everyone's life.... I don't know if I'll make it out of this alive, but I won't blame them if no one tries to find me.

"Dr. Brenner, Dr. Owens...we have intruders, they are neutralized..."

The sound of the loudspeakers takes me out of my thoughts... did they say intruders?

My heart is pounding, I wonder if the people who are trying to catch me finally found me.

"Intruders? How did they manage to sneak into the facility without setting off the alarms?