These past few days I did not feel bad and did not cry, which is amazing!. But today, I am feeling a little bit low, because of non specific reason. Well, actually in my deeper heart I know what's missing. My life needs a sight of adventure. Every single day I do the same thing, I hate feeling bored. I should have been grateful for being good for months and did not want to cut myself or cry. I know that I mostly complain about being in my country, and not going back to China, but this time is different. I am complaining about staying in a country where security is an invisible word and human rights have no value. I just want the right to live, to have the opportunity to build my life, and not feel afraid of walking on the streets at night.
Somehow I don't feel proud to be Cape Verdean, but I feel proud to be african. Don't blame me! I have so many reasons for feeling uncertain about what will become of me, cuz my country is not providing opportunities for it. And I thought I was sure bout what is it coming, but things changed in a blink of an eye, things that I managed to control but did not succeed. Despite understanding that I can't control how and when things change, I still blame myself for what happened and is still happening during these 2 years. I was born here, but if I had to choose, trust me, I would not chose to be born here. My country has no protection for its people. We are native, but with a soul of strangers. It's sad! I used to be happy and protected when I was living in China. Now, I am stuck in this place that I should be proud of it, but I neglected myself to. Life is strange or am I the strange one?
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Far from being ok
عشوائيFeelings that cannot be held, nor kept for me. Real feelings from someone who has anxiety and is trying to relieve the emotions through art. Words full of profound meaning to spread out and reach those who might be having hard times too and to tho...
