True To Life

9. Give me love

I started spending more time with Phindulo, not only would we work from school together but then she would come over my place and then we'll end up studying. Let me lie to you but we would end up stealing kisses and then doing inappropriate things by that I mean touching and just having a making out session. I don't want to rush things with her but I do enjoy her company however today she said that she wants us to go out. I'm sure she is tired of spending time in my house doing the same thing for the past two weeks so I'm going on a first date with her in town. I have some new clothes that I haven't worn. I asked Thabang for some money so I'm guessing that I will be able to make her have a good time.
She is the first to arrive and then she find me already dressed up but then still inside the house she looks surprised to see me dressed up and then she blushes.
"You clean up very well" she says
I smile at her, she looks amazing.
"You're beautiful" I say now she can't look at me in my eyes
We walk hand-in-hand all the way to the taxi stop just in time for the next taxi to still stop by then we get in.
Everyone seems to be minding their own business but then just as usual the taxi is loud and the taxi driver is also loud so we don't hold any short conversation all the way to the mall.
We get off the taxi and then enter Thavhani mall.
"So where's our first stop?" She asks
"I thought it should be a surprise" I say walking to foschini, she is confused but doesn't say anything.
Ask your friend Sedzani and she told me that you liked accessories and if you happen to love the shop. I did not want look obnoxious so I want you to pick something you lying maybe to serve as a reminder of our first date her face light up then she walks to the bracelets section, it's like she knew exactly what she wanted. Then take a bracelet and show it to me.
"I've always wanted this, this way we'll keep all the wonderful memories here. Like each place we visit, we will get something to attach it to the bracelet." She explains
I can't help but smile, she makes it hard for me not to like her.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" She blushes
"We need to get the bracelet ASAP" I say
She laughs Then walk to the counter.
We pay for it then head to Rocomamas.
"I can't believe we are doing this" Phindulo smiles at me
"Why?" I ask
"I don't know, I feel like I'm dreaming. Us being here it's unreal." She says
We order our food then take few pictures together.
"You look annoyed in all the pictures" she says scrolling over.
"I'm sorry, I'm not used to taking pictures" I apologize
Our food arrives.
"It's okay, they look cute though. I'll keep them." She smiles
The date went more than I expected, we talked about everything and for some reason, I find myself laughing at the little things she does.

We get to my place and watch a movie together, she said she didn't want to go home early so instead of studying I thought we could watch a movie together. I don't know why I'm doing all this today but it feels good to live a little.
"So was this our first date?" She asks
"Yeah" I say
She looks at me
"So we are dating?" S
She just had to ask that, I can't look disappointed because I'll hurt her but I am. I enjoy spending time with Phindulo, she's fun but I don't want to date.
"You're not saying anything..." she tries to smile
I don't want to hurt her but if I agree to this, I'll hurt her even more. I'm still the same broken guy, she is expecting a lot from me.
"I like you, so much...I can't love you right now and I know you don't understand that..." I explain
She is hurt.
"I like you too, I just don't want you to think that's all I'll ever be to you. I will want more, because I am human. I'm just scared that if I say it, I'll push you away." She says
I love the way we can talk to each other.
"I want you to be my first..." she adds
What!
"What?" I can't hide my shocked face
She nods.
"You dont know this, but I've liked you since grade 8. You are too reserved for someone our age." She smiles
"I'm not reserved, I've just been through a lot. I don't know how to express certain things or feelings. I was bullied at school, people made fun of me and my poverty. Why me?" I ask her now on my feet walking to the window.
"I think its all that that attracted me to you, you are totally clueless of how Handsome and attractive you are and apart from that, you remain in Vusi's shadows. Not that it's a bad thing, but I can assure you that I'm not the only one who sees that..." she stops
"What's wrong?" I ask Her
She swallow and shake her head. Then walk to me, she looks at me then takes off her shirt. I don't want to take my eyes off her and miss drowning in my hunger for her. She unbutton her pants then takes it off, and my eyes wander around her body, she's beautiful and I want her.
"I never prepared or planned for this..." I say
She opens her hand and show me a packet of condoms in her hands.
"Well I did." She says, I kiss her
I don't want to think about this, I just want to live in this moment.